#the reason i was a bit standoffish is not because i disliked you or found you annoying

[catboynutsack]

to the 15 year old at the public library today that excitedly taught the middle schoolers what it meant to use any pronouns, complimented my trans hoodie, and asked me where I got my safety pins then happily shared that you "legally acquire" yours at Michaels and then proceeded to advise the middle schoolers not to talk to cops: u are rad as hell and everything I wanted to be at ur age, good luck with high school and keep being you 👍

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for not trusting my daughter’s evil counterpart?

…Maybe ‘evil’ isn’t the right word to use. I’m not sure. This will take a lot of explaining.

Okay, so! Hi! This is my (30s F GNC) first time posting to ‘Am I The Asshole,’ but my wife (30s F) has used the site before. You might remember her from her posts about growing our daughter in a test tube and her hating her dad.

Recently, the two of us had an… I don’t want to call it an ARGUMENT, but something came up that we haven’t been able to see eye-to-eye over, and so we decided to post here to get a third opinion.

For some context, though:

We come from a world with multiple parallel universes. One of these parallel universes is the… Mirror World. This world is a twisted reflection of our own; a dimension in which counterparts of every person in this world exist, derived specifically from what we most dislike about ourselves.

For example, my Mirror counterpart is a too-prideful troublemaker who’s loyal to a violent fault. I’ve met him once or twice, and all I can say is I am not a fan.

But that’s not the only reason I don’t like the Mirror World or people who come from it. You see: many years ago, something truly awful happened to me because of that place.

My wife at the time (different from my current wife; I’ll refer to her as my ex-wife from hereon out) (20s F) came into possession of an artifact connected to the Mirror World. And although neither of us knew it at the time, this had a horrifying effect on her.

Forces within the Mirror World conspired against our world, and seeking to gain power, they slowly began to corrupt my ex-wife. They drove her, quite literally, to the point of evil insanity. Not only did she become abusive towards me, but she began to subjugate and oppress innocents; all of this culminating in her needing to be killed just to save thousands of lives.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken. I didn’t even know what happened at the time. I only learned about this ‘Mirror World’ and the dark forces conspiring within it later, and I’ve hated them ever since.

Thankfully, though, I was able to…

I don’t want to say ‘move on,’ because that’s not it. I will always, ALWAYS love my ex-wife. But I… was able to heal a bit. I found someone else who made me happy, and although I well and truly thought I’d never love again, I somehow did. As such, I ended up with my current wife, who I love more than the world. She’s everything to me.

As is my daughter, who I mentioned she grew in a test tube. Said daughter, who I’ll call P (9F) is a very smart, talented girl. I’m very proud of her and love her so, so much.

Which is why I’m so worried.

Recently, P found out about what happened to my ex-wife (who’s a close friend of hers. Long story, but she has spirit medium powers), and she was extremely upset. She wanted to punish the people responsible. And as such, she made an extremely journey into the Mirror World to try and find them.

She didn’t, THANK THE STARS, and she also thankfully wasn’t hurt, but while she was in the Mirror World, she met her own Mirror Counterpart, and her reaction to the doppelgänger has been… disconcerting, to say the least.

Inexplicably, she’s decided they’re friends. Mirror P is rude, standoffish, and impulsive, but P doesn’t care. She’s decided she’s like a little sister. According to her, Mirror P’s parents (Our Mirror Counterparts, I suppose) aren’t nice to her, and so she thinks we should take her in so she has someone to love her.

I… get the gesture, but I just cannot condone it. P is my everything. I cannot let something happen to her. The Mirror World is dangerous. If she continues to interact with it, I may very well lose her. I will NOT fail her like I failed my ex-wife. Mirror P needs to stay the hell away.

I know not all Mirror Worlders are plainly evil. A friend of mine (4M) manages to get along with his Mirror World counterpart. But this is exceptionally rare. More often than not, Mirror Worlders are conniving and cruel. They are quite literally based on everything we don’t want to be.

And not only that, but apparently Mirror P is close to a person who I’ll call ‘Mirror M.’ Mirror M is a monster. He is one of the people responsible for what happened to my ex-wife. He served the dark forces that drove her insane and ultimately killed her. If she trusts him, then she HAS to be bad news.

My wife disagrees, though. She’s suggested I’m being an asshole and says it seems to her like Mirror P is just a scared child in need of support and a home. “Yes, she’s difficult,” she agrees, “But as a reflection of our daughter, it would be cruel to turn her away.”

I can’t NOT though. Not knowing what the cost would be. Please tell me I’m right. Please tell me that Mirror P needs to go. I can’t let her hurt P. If I did, I would never forgive myself. I’ve already lost so, so much. I can’t lose my daughter too.

AITA?

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Context Time! (for @gummybugg)

I did this lil tag game thing where I posted the final line I had written that day... a line that makes zero sense without context lol. Here's a link to that post:

The line I shared was this: "She has a husband."

And then I tagged 4 people because this quote has 4 words!

And the lovely @gummybugg was curious as to what this line was all about. So here's the explanation - in the dialogue style post that I do for my Steph's Crew series (since this scene is part of the Steph's Crew sequel I've been working on).

Enjoy!

So I accidentally wrote a love triangle... (more like a love square, though. Since four people are involved)

That wasn't meant to happen, but what can you do hahaha

in case you haven't been following what I've posted from Steph's Crew, I'll give you a brief rundown of the characters and their relationships.

Stephanie is kind of the leader of her friend group (which consists of herself, Elise, Bret, Alice and Dylan. The last two aren't going to really come up much, since they aren't really a major part of this storyline lol). She also has a boyfriend named Ben (who she currently lives with after running away from her old home), who doesn't go to her school. She and him have a long-distance relationship which leaves her feeling all depressed and lonely through most of the story.

Elise is Stephanie's best friend, and the first person she met when she first joined the school last year. She really helped Steph feel welcome! She also has feelings for Bret (her long-time classmate and friend since they were really young), and over the course of the story, he starts reciprocating. They eventually end up together, and everyone in the group is cool with it - apart from Steph at first, interestingly enough...

Bret is an orphan and he lives with his aunt Rachel. Their relationship is quite rocky at first, but they get closer as the story goes on (and by the sequel, which the upcoming scene is from, they're BFFs lol). He is a bit of an enigma... often known for being rather troublesome and chaotic, and many people dislike him. Not that he makes much of an effort to be liked... he's often rather rude and standoffish, especially to people he doesn't know too well. Like Stephanie when they first meet. They eventually patch things up and become really close friends. But one night, they have this moment together that hints at deeper feelings than mere friendship, if you know what I mean.

They brush it off and try to forget about it, choosing to remain friends and stay committed to their respective partners. But the chemistry they have doesn't just disappear. Not even a year or so later, which is when the sequel takes place lol. Which neatly brings up to the scene we've been waiting for!

This is a conversation between Bret and Rachel, where he finally shares his little situation with someone after keeping it hidden for a while. I'll just show it to you - it kind of speaks for itself lol. Here we go!

Bret Phones Home

(Bret dials his aunt's number in a telephone box payphone and waits for her to pick up)

Rachel: (on the phone) Hello?

Bret: RACH! Hi, it's me!

Rachel: Bret?! Oh, my goodness! Hi, sweetie! It's so good to hear from you, love, how are you?

Bret: Oh, yeah. I'm good, I'm good. But listen, I have something important to tell you. Or ask you, more like. Yeah.

Rachel: Ok, what's up?

Bret: I- uh. Ok… Here goes. (clears throat) Can you be in love with two people at the same time? Is that possible? Or is that just weird?

Rachel: Hmmm… I would say no, since in my experience, that has never truly been the case. I've found myself liking two people at once, but then realising that I always leaned more towards one of them, you know? But at the same time, polyamorous people exist, so…

Bret: Right.

Rachel: Why do you ask?

Bret: Oh, no reason, aunt Rach. I was only curious, that's all! Wanted to hear your thoughts.

Rachel: Honey, is everything alright? How are you and Elise doing?

Bret: Well, we recently broke up. You know that.

Rachel: You still love her?

Bret: (sighs) Of course I do. I'm never going to not love her, I don't think. But it's over. We're still friends, though. And I've… kind of started seeing somebody else.

Rachel: Can I guess who it is?

Bret: You won't get it, aunt Rach. Don't bothe-

Rachel: Is it Steph?

Bret: Uh… yeah. How did you know?

Rachel: Remember that late-night chat you had back when you two were in year 13?

Bret: Yeah. God, feels like that was ages ago.

Rachel: It's only been, like, a year. But wait... doesn't Stephanie have a boyfriend?

Bret: No.

Rachel: Oh. Ok, then.

Bret: She has a husband.

I hope this clears things up, @gummybugg!

[elysianslove]

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi 

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself 

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right? 

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name! 

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them. 

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes 

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting 

not a nice feeling 

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart 

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do 

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move 

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity! 

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are 

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see” 

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

hm

am i your boyfriend 

like idk am i your girlfriend 

he said yeah obviously 

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two 

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc. 

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting 

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either” 

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe 

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine 

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about 

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know? 

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving 

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled 

damn this. all this. 

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck 

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck 

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it. 

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective 

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol 

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story. 

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are 

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism 

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 36

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: the next chapter is gonna be the last one and i think i’m gonna need therapy. hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

Y/N was dressed in a baby pink and white tweed two piece, her almond white heel hitting the ground as she looked around the same halls she used to run as a child. Yet, this time everything seemed a bit more somber, the red of the walls seemed to almost swallow her in her own mind. Everything seemed a blur to her, from Dan showing up at the house with most of Mr. Forrest’s men to Sebastian being taken away. She wasn’t sure how long it had been, all she knew was that she had been moved around by Dan and several other associates from place to place until she had finally been placed in her old bedroom of her childhood home. However, the home no longer felt like home and as she waited outside Mr. Forrest’s office, fingers picking at the fabric of the very expensive skirt which for the first time seemed to fit her like a second skin. 

The door opened and one of the maids gave her a kind smile before pulling the door completely open. She stood up on her heels, wondering what awaited her behind the threshold into the office of the man she had just discovered was her father. Not that it was a completely bad new, Mr. Forrest had never been anything other than kind to her but it was odd. It was odd that the father she always wished would be around during Father’s day, who would come to see her recitals had always been there but at the same time it wasn’t. He had always been in the crowd, unbeknownst to her and as she stepped inside his office and looked at the man she had seen ever since was little standing up, staring at her as if she would disappear at any minute, she wondered how she felt. Between Sebastian and being moved around like a lost package hadn’t given her enough time to even consider how she felt about her actual parentage. The young just turned heiress wasn’t sure how she felt about actually having one parent alive yet being somehow the reason as to why her mother wasn’t around anymore.

    - I know you probably have several questions, Y/N. - his voice trembled, almost in fear of what his daughter had pent up inside of her. - If you allowed me, I would like to explain it to you what really happened.

    - I guess. - her hands held the top of the chair, not sure if she should sit or not. 

    - I really loved your mother. I met her at the Opera, I swear I can still hear her voice in the quiet of the night ... I nicknamed her Robin, gave her the necklace you’re wearing. She loved you so much, she painted your nursery herself, spent hours and hours deciding on a name before finally sticking with Ella and would constantly read you her favourite books even before you were born. We were so ready to have you but after your mother I just, I just couldn’t let anything bad happen to you. I thought many times about placing you with some of my associates but then they put you in my arms and I saw your mother’s eyes on you, how tiny you were, I just couldn’t let you go. I do realise it was selfish of me and I know you probably will never forgive me for lying all these years but all I did was to protect you ... Not that it worked very well in the end. 

Y/N just starred at the powerful man in front of her lay it all down. Maybe it was her curse to get powerful man at their most vulnerable yet Y/N just couldn’t be mad. She knew she should be mad, she should be mad that all this time she had a father, she had a completely different name in her mother’s eyes without even mentioning being in the shadow. Yet, she couldn’t be mad, when she looked at him all she saw was a man who had lost the woman he loved and the opportunity of having a daughter, or at least having her the way everyone ordinarily had one. 

She sighed, a faint smile pulling at the corner of her lips as she walked closer to the old man, wrapping her arms around him. What use was it be mad? They had both lost something, something important and while Y/N had lost her mother, he had lost the woman he loved. As much love Y/N held for the mother she never knew, her father had lost the woman he had loved and the opportunity to have an ordinary lifestyle. She was in no place to be mad at someone who had lost so much.

   - I forgive you. - she took a step back, her eyes slightly glancing to the little robin attached to the golden chain. 

   - We should get some dinner. I would love to show you some photos from when your mother was pregnant. 

   - I would love to but I’m afraid I have to check on someone. - Y/N wasn’t entirely sure if she should mention her relationship with Sebastian. She had mostly begged Daniel not to mention it and while Gwen had jetted off the moment she didn’t have to get married anymore, she was wise enough not to drop it on her newly found father that she was not only in a relationship with the man who was supposed to marry Gwen just a few weeks ago but also pregnant. Either way, she wanted to go check on Sebastian. No matter how much she asked, no one would tell her anything and her phone had been removed right when they both were rescued from Mr. Williams. - Maybe later on?

   - Make sure you take Daniel with you. - Y/N nodded as one of the employees escorted her outside the study and back to the hallway where Dan was.  She gave him a playful smile before walking up to whom she guessed she now had to call her step-brother, not that he hadn’t act like one since she was a little girl. 

   - Tweed? Starting to dress like an heiress, Y/N? 

   - One of the maids left it in my bedroom. - she twisted her foot slightly behind her, a bit of heat climbing up to his cheeks. - Mr. Forrest, I mean, my father said I need to take you if I wanna go somewhere. 

   - It’s okay, he only told me he was his father when I was 10. You get used to it eventually. 

  - How do you get used to suddenly becoming first in line to owning ... - she motioned around her. - All of this. 

  - I’m sure you can ask Sebastian for help. - his words made her stop on her tracks, a furrowed eyebrow at his statement before Daniel took a file from under his shirt. - I had my suspicions but after he was ready to sign off his place in the mob for you ... well, didn’t take long to puzzle it out. 

  - Did you tell anyone? - she grabbed the file away from him, not wanting anyone to hold it and mostly because she wished to destroy it or give it to Sebastian. 

  - I don’t think Gwen would be too interested in it considering she went on holiday with one of his bodyguards the moment she got told the wedding was off. Besides, if someone is to tell our father about it, it certainly won’t be me. 

  - I thought you hated Sebastian. I’m sure you called them standoffish and murderous. 

  - I still dislike him but ... you like him and considering you’re gonna be my boss someday, I don’t think I should really go against what you want. 

Y/N merely chuckled at him as both of them got into the car and, following a bit of banter discussing if it was the best idea to go visit Sebastian or not, started to drive up to the Upper East Side. Sebastian hadn’t been taken to the hospital despite most of Y/N’s complaining, whenever she did all Dan would say ‘we don’t want the police in our business’ so all she could think about was if he was alright and recovering just fine. It wasn’t like someone would harm her if she made a call, however Dan and the other associates were firm on keeping Y/N as isolated as possible for the very first weeks.

Maybe it had been for the best, she had spent the two weeks feeling sick or very tired and weirdly enough, only a few days ago had she been able to get up without feeling like a goblin. However, she sure hoped he was alright and as his apartment because visible, her heart soared. It wasn’t like Sebastian had tried to contact her either, maybe he didn’t want to see her. After all, she was the reason he had three bullet holes in his body. As Dan parked in front of the building, her heart beat faster.

    - I’ll wait for you here. - Dan took her off her mindset. - Be safe, okay? 

    - I will. - Y/N climbed off the car, scarily walking over to the door which was opened by the doorman with a smile on his face. She entered the very familiar lift, looking at the light buttons on the switch panel until the penthouse was reached. The doors opened horizontally and the once familiar house felt cold. Maybe it was because there just wasn’t so much staff running around. Actually, she could only spot a few bodyguards and overall staff before Amelia came strutting her way.

   - Miss Y/N, I was so worried. When you didn’t come back with Mr. Sebastian. Thank god you’re alright, you look so good. 

   - Yeah, they’ve been moving me around for a few weeks. Do you reckon I could see Sebastian?

   - He’s been in his room for a few weeks, doctor’s orders. I told him to go the hospital but the police rule. - she started to walk up the stairs with Y/N right behind her until she led her to Sebastian’s room. - You let me know if you need anything.

Y/N took a deep breathe, trying to shoo away all of the negative thoughts she had within her mind before pulling on the door handle, pushing the door open to see Sebastian laid down in bed surrounded by several papers, most likely contracts, with his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. She leaned against the wood of the door lining, her eyes calmly set on his tense forehead as he went through each paper faster than a computer, writing what looked like unreadable calligraphy. He was the one to notice her first, taking his glasses off as a soft smile appeared on his face.

    - Didn’t think your father would let you near me any time soon. - he spoke out, voice slightly raspy as if he hadn’t caught a wink of sleep in the past weeks. Y/N merely rolled her eyes at his statement, walking up to his bed and taking a seat in a spot free of papers. - Are you alright?

    - I should be asking you that. - her hand creeped up to his, her fingers shyly touching his. - You should’ve gone to the hospital, Sebastian.

    - Just bullet wounds, angel, nothing new. 

    - I thought I lost you, Sebastian. You didn’t try to reach out to me for two weeks, I was worried. - she bite down onto her lip, afraid her emotions would get the best of her. Sebastian noticed this, pushing the contracts away from his lap before his hands wrapped around her waist, pushing her closer to him despite the lingering pain of the gun shot wounds still present but he didn’t care.

    - Angel, I thought you were gonna die and it was my fault. I promised nothing bad would happen to you and that ... that despicable rat had you chained to the ground .. the things he said he would do to you and if he had done it it would’ve been my fault.

   - Sebastian, it’s not your fault. - her hand raised to caress his jaw. - You couldn’t have done anything, whatever he wanted ... it goes way past me and you. 

   - I allowed him to be near you and I let you be alone at the hotel ... I should’ve just ran off with you, I should’ve just ... I should’ve just told you I loved you when I had the shot, we could’ve jus ...

   - It’s no good to live in the past, Seb. You’re okay, I’m okay, we’re fine. Whatever happened, let’s just forget it. - she took the documents from her purse handing it to him. - I thought you should have those. I don’t think it would be very safe for those papers to be wandering around. I can’t believe you would give it all up for me.

   - I would do anything for you. - he leaned his head against her shoulder. - How is the baby? 

   - Baby’s fine, probably got tired of making me feel miserable all the time. - she made herself comfortable in his bed. - How do you feel about it? The baby, I mean.

   - I would’ve rather heard about it in a less stressing situation but I just can’t really believe it. Somewhere in my life I must’ve done something good, I must’ve done something good because I really don’t deserve you much less a family with you.

   - I don’t really think it’s about deserving, it’s just ... maybe fated considering I was supposed to marry you all along. 

   - That is a contract marriage I can’t really complain about.

   - From now on, let it just be the two of us. Nothing else, no more Gwen, no more lost parents, just ... an ordinary family. 

   - I’d like that.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @nikkipea​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​ @sarge-barnes-sir​ @stuffforreferences​ @thebadassbitchqueen​ @sebastianstansqueen​ @nsfwsebbie​ @strangerliaa​ @emzd34​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​ @dreams-in-blxck​ @krismeunicornbaobei​ @buckysteveloki-me​

[yumeka36]

Thoughts on Rebuild of Evangelion (all movies plus ending interpretation)

*Artwork credited to リオ on pixiv*

Now that Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time, the last movie of the Rebuild of Evangelion saga, has been released, I'm finally ready to discuss all the movies as a whole, including my interpretation of the ending...

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

I've been a fan of Evangelion for nearly 20 years, starting back in 2002. After hearing the series praised by some classmates, I asked for the DVD set of the original TV anime for Christmas that year. I was 15 years old and a fairly new anime fan at the time, so naturally I was blown away by the show. The Internet was young then, and since there were no fandom wikis or YouTube explanation videos available in those days, I had to rely on a few scattered fan sites and my own resources (mostly bonus features on the old DVDs) to try and figure out the lore and symbolism. Even though many aspects of the series, as well as the eventual "true ending" movie, End of Evangelion, left me scratching my head, I still loved it and it left a long-lasting impression on me. And now, here I am almost two decades later, sharing my thoughts about the new movies...

-Before Thrice Upon a Time was released, I hadn't touched Evangelion since 3.33 came out in 2012. I had forgotten many details, and since Evangelion is a franchise that is fraught with nuances and subtleties that can be key to understanding what the heck is going on, I wanted to watch all the Rebuild movies again before watching Thrice Upon a Time. So I plowed through all four movies this week, and I gotta say, after being away from the franchise for so many years, I'm happy to report that I still thoroughly enjoyed it. But I can also recognize that it is definitely not a series for everyone. The drawn-out technobabble, constant introduction of lore jargon with little to no explanation, and the ambiguity between what's real and what's symbolic, can certainly turn off casual viewers (it gives Kingdom Hearts lore a run for its money!) Funnily enough, as I was watching the Rebuild movies, I was thinking, "I understood the lore better 20 years ago than I do now, lol" (maybe it's because I was younger and didn't have as strong of a theorizing mind as I do now!) But after reading through a bunch of pages on the EvaGeeks Wiki, I learned enough to get a gist of the story's vaguer elements. But unfortunately, the fact that information necessary for understanding the plot can only be found by Internet research, could certainly be a turn-off for viewers. But at the same time, for those willing to make the commitment, or at least appreciate the series' other qualities even if you can't follow many aspects of the lore, it's definitely an anime unlike any other. There's a reason it's been such a well-known franchise in Japan for so long.

-Asuka has been one of my favorite anime characters ever since I saw the original Eva TV series, and thankfully, I'm happy with what they did with her character in the Rebuild movies. My only complaint is that I preferred her original backstory that emphasized her relationship with her mother, rather than having a "clone-complex" similar to Rei. However, her character development in this new storyline made up for it. The Rebuild movies really nailed her abrasive, no-nonsense personality that hides depth within. There were also more scenes that showed her "softer" side, something I always felt was lacking in the original series, such as when she confides in Misato towards the end of 2.22 and when she confesses her feelings to Shinji in Thrice Upon a Time. I also felt her initial dislike for Shinji and Rei was a bit more warranted this time; despising the fact that they were able to become Eva pilots purely by connection to Gendo while she had to work hard for it. But again, we get more hints at her kinder side when she makes the sacrifice to help Rei get Shinji and Gendo together. This is pretty contrasting to the original series, where she was always oozing hate for Rei. Even their infamous elevator scene ended differently in 2.22 compared to the TV series, where instead of hitting and yelling at Rei, she agrees to help her (in her subtle, Asuka-way). Asuka and Rei also had a brief scene together when they were at Village 3 in Thrice Upon a Time, and the way Asuka talked to her made me feel like she actually cared about her, or at least didn't hate her. But even with the Rebuild movies giving Asuka more scenes to show her goodness, they still stayed true to her tough-love personality - it's not like she suddenly started smiling a lot, or gave Shinji a passionate hug, or broke out in tears...they developed her character without making her do a 180 change, which I appreciated. Even in her final scene with Shinji on the beach before he saves her (loved that scene, and the shoutout to End of Eva there) she still reacted in her "tsundere" way (though not as harshly of course). I'd also like to mention that they made the fourteen year time-skip in 3.33 very believable in terms of Asuka's growth. I really liked the hardened, lone-wolf, protector role she had in Thrice Upon a Time because it makes sense - fourteen years had passed and she not only matured during that time, but she had spent all those years being the sole Eva pilot along with Mari fighting to protect humanity, so settling into that kind of identity makes sense for her. But yeah, Asuka's always been a great character, and the Rebuild movies made her even more awesome in my opinion.

-When I first watched 2.22 years ago when it came out, I was puzzled that they decided to put Asuka in the Eva that Unit-01 ends up destroying rather than Toji. But looking back on it it now, it worked better since they had a plan for Toji's character that had nothing to do with the Evas. I did kind of miss Asuka's friendship with Hikari though (they could have tied that into her staying with Toji and Hikari at Village 3 instead of with Kensuke). I actually wrote a WYDS fanfic for End of Evangelion way back in 2003 that emphasizes Asuka and Hikari's friendship (that's somehow still on Fanfiction.net!) But she got a friendship with Mari instead, so it's fine, lol (I also liked that they removed her crush on Kaji, which I never thought fit well in the original series). But I do wish we got to see what was going through her mind while she was stuck in the Eva and getting attacked by Unit-01. We know she was aware of what was going on because she knew what Shinji did (that he didn't try to save her or attack) so it would have been nice to see a scene or two of her reactions.

-Misato was always my second favorite character after Asuka, but I wasn't thrilled with the coldness she exhibited towards Shinji after the time-skip in 3.33. I know she probably got hardened after all those years and maybe still felt resentment towards him for initiating Near Third Impact (which killed Kaji among others). But even so, I felt like her coldness was more to keep the suspense rather than stay true to her character (plus she was the one encouraging him to do what we wanted at the time of Near Third Impact). It makes sense for Asuka to be cold to Shinji, since she was always standoffish like that, but Misato was always shown to be a source of warmth and the most "human" of the characters. But at least she made up with Shinji in the end and got to finish her story arc with a bang (literally).

-I'm not sure if it's still a thing now, but back in the day, Shinji got a lot of hate from anime fans for being too whiny and indecisive when confronted with his task of piloting the Eva. But even all those years ago, I always thought those reactions made him believable. Maybe it's because he's compared to anime shonen heroes like Naruto and Luffy, who are always cheerful and brimming with motivation, while Shinji is pretty much the opposite of those kinds of characters. But it makes sense for him to be like that...if I were a fourteen-year old kid who never knew my mother, had a father who abandoned me, and had to live on my own in a crumbling world while witnessing death and destruction all around, I'd be pretty hesitant and scared too. He's definitely not a "wish-fulfilling" protagonist like many shonen and super heroes are, but a protagonist grounded more in reality, representing a disillusioned youth. So it was nice to see him finally get over his insecurities and be proactive with saving everyone at the end of Thrice Upon a Time (compared to everyone giving him the pep talk at the end of the original series). Though I did think his personality shift was a bit abrupt...he was at his lowest point at the beginning of Thrice Upon a Time, but the one kind gesture from Rei seemed to immediately snap him out of it. A little more gradual build-up to his change would have been better, but it's a nitpick.

-Mari was an enigma in 2.22 and 3.33, so I was hoping Thrice Upon a Time would give us her origin story. Unfortunately, it didn't offer much and maybe brought up more questions than not. My main question is, we see that she knew Gendo and Yui when they were younger, yet if she was their age then, that doesn't match up to the age she appears to be when Shinji first meets her. So she must have been afflicted with the "Eva curse" all those years back, which means she must have become an Eva pilot around that time, but it seems too soon. I thought the first Evangelion pilots didn't exist until after Yui died, so Mari should have been older...I don't know, I'm still having trouble figuring out her place in the timeline. But besides that, I did like her relationship with Asuka that we see in Thrice Upon a Time. Again, it makes sense in terms of the time-skip that they'd develop a good friendship after spending all those years being Eva pilots together.

-I don't have a lot to say about Rei, since I feel her story arc is one of the simpler ones (which isn't saying much for this series, lol). The scenes of her in Village 3 in Thrice Upon a Time were endearing, though I knew they would end in tragedy. Actually, that whole part of the movie with the characters spending time in the village was great. The world-building in those scenes was fantastic too - it really felt like what a post-apocolyptic survival camp in that situation would be like. It was nice to see the characters partaking in and reacting to situations that don't have to do with Angels and Evas (spin-off series for this when?)

-And lastly, how did I interpret the end of the Rebuild saga? Was I satisfied with how it ended? Right after I watched Thrice Upon a Time, I wasn't totally sure. But after reading some more wiki pages and watching some explanation videos, especially this one here (it's a great explanation if you can forgive the bad pronunciation of the names), I've realized just how brilliant of a conclusion it is. There's been speculation that the story involves a time loop, with the events of the original TV series, as well as the Death & Rebirth and End of Evangelion movies, being different versions of the time loop, while the Rebuild movies is where the loop ends because Shinji finally overcomes the pain of his past and can restore the world this time (while he had failed to in the previous loops). I don't think it's a time loop so much as a cycle that keeps resetting and repeating. Further support for this theory is that Kaoru acts like he's met Shinji before, since he's reborn in each cycle to meet Shinji only to be killed by him later (all the coffins seen on the moon are for his past/future selves). I think the final movie title is symbolic of this too, with "Thrice Upon a Time" meaning "three times upon a time," the three times being the three cycles of the Evangelion story: the original TV series, the movies Death & Rebirth and The End of Evangelion, and finally the Rebirth movies. But mostly, the scene towards the end where Shinji meets Rei in the anti-verse, and they're standing in what appears to be a filming room while projected images from the Eva TV series are shown behind them. This to me symbolizes that the original Eva series exists in the Rebuild movies as one version of the cycle, and Shinji has now finally broken out of the loop. Once Shinji has saved everyone, the filming room (which symbolizes the old versions of the story, as I believe it's supposed to be the room where live-action footage used in previous Eva works was filmed) fades away and the literal animation around Shinji begins to break down into its purest forms, as key animation, then layouts, etc., - a near 4th wall-breaking depiction of the world resetting. However, Gendo and Yui had sacrificed themselves so that Shinji wouldn't have to, so Mari is able to pull him back into the world, just like she had promised. In the end, Shinji is able to join his friends in the new world that's free of Evas. Without the Eva curse, all the pilots are now their proper ages as well. The movie closes with Mari and Shinji heading off somewhere in their new lives while the environment merges into live-action footage, representing the fact that the story has now transcended animation and is now "real" because the cycle has finally ended and a true Neon Genesis took place. Like many aspects of the franchise, there are many ways to interpret this ending, but this is the interpretation I've settled on.

-While I am satisfied with the ending overall, I do wish the epilogue showed us more of what the other characters were doing, especially the survivors from Wille and Village 3. I know we can assume they're living out their lives as well, but it would have been nice to get confirmation of that with a few quick cameos. But there are some main characters whose fates are uncertain, particularly Misato, Kaji, and Fuyutsuki. I'm assuming the only people Shinji was able to save were the ones whose souls were still bound to Evas, namely Asuka, Rei, and Kaoru. I don't know about Kaji since I'm still not clear on exactly how he died. Maybe Shinji couldn't save Misato because she died "for real" and wasn't just trapped inside an Eva/Angel. But it is implied that many souls, not just Eva pilots, were saved when the world was restored...so maybe she was too? And like Kaji, I'm not sure what happened with Fuyutsuki. Did he turn into LCL because he gave up his humanity in some way, like Gendo? I'm also a little salty that we didn't get a decent shot of adult Asuka at the train station, lol. I'm not sure if the ending was hinting at Mari and Shinji being an item...possibly Rei and Kaoru too, maybe even Asuka and Kensuke. Like many things in the franchise, the eventual pairings, or lack thereof, could be interpreted in many ways.

In conclusion, while there were some aspects of the old Eva TV series and movies that I liked better, the Rebuild movies overall did an excellent job of retelling the story with the same rich lore and thought-provoking symbolism that we're used to for the franchise, but with enough new twists to make it stand out. And as I mentioned in my interpretation of the ending, these movies weren't just a retelling but a redefinition of the franchise as whole, bringing together the previous versions of the story and giving them true closure. Though we could see some spin-off material at some point, Thrice Upon a Time does seem like it was intended to be the final installment of the Evangelion series. While I was satisfied enough with the endings for the TV series and End of Eva movie, having watched the Rebuild movies, I do believe they're the "retelling we didn't know we needed." It's a tad bittersweet to know that such an influential franchise, and one of my favorite anime for years, has come to its true end. So, to translate the text in the below fan art...

"Thank you , Evangelion."

*Artwork credited to リオ on pixiv*

[oureuphoria]

Worst of You - JJK 07

You meet him under horrible circumstances but everything feels perfect when you’re with him. Too bad you have a bitch of a best friend, anxiety and an inability to learn from your mistakes which cripples your chances to be with the man of your literal dreams. He, however, is a police officer with years worth of built-up turmoil and an inability to make attachments. Or “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” “Cool, I’ll let everyone know you’re moving in then.”

Genre: fluff, angst, comedy

Pairing: officer!jungkook X  collegestudent!reader

Word count: 3k

Note: I’m uploading TWICE tonight because I love you and I love writing and I love Jungkook.

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 

Much to your dismay, Jungkook had started passively ignoring you. All your messages were either ignored or replied to with ‘busy’ 3 hours after he read them. Your calls when straight to voicemail and whenever you tried to arrange something he’d cancel. You knew his job was demanding but you couldn’t understand why he had no time in the past 10 days to message you back at all. Hell, you were sure he had Sundays off so when Sunday eventually came, you were positive he was avoiding you and you planned to get to the bottom of it. 

It was a Wednesday and a full week since you had failed your Dorm inspection. Your room was spotless and you kept the commons room clean however, Alex’s room was a complete mess and they found weed in her possession. She was given a 14-day notice of eviction and while you disliked her, you still felt bad. She assured you that she had family nearby and that she wasn’t planning on staying anyway. The fact that Alex couldn’t careless pushed you not to care either. 

For a short, blissful moment, you had believed that you would be peacefully alone, but someone was already arranged to take her spot and you needed to prepare yourself for the awkward tension of living with a stranger. You didn’t have time to dwell over your living arrangements, you had high schoolers to tutor. That day, the tutoring session you had ran longer than usual, 45 minutes over to be specific. You never charged overtime because you weren’t a monster but you certainly didn’t appreciate it and when the session was finally over, the overwhelming sense of relief had engulfed you.

Fighting through your tiredness, you decided against going home so you could visit Jungkook instead. You thought he wouldn’t be able to ignore you in person and boy were you wrong. When you had first approached the reception desk, you were surprised to see a younger lady, one with a much nicer smile. At first, that made you glad, the other lady, albeit efficient at her job, was standoffish and blatantly rude. However, you would soon regret every trusting that deceptively sweet smile of hers.

“How can I help you?” “Hi, I’m here to see Jungkook?” You ignored her coy smile and the way she rolled her eyes. Maybe she was having a bad day and deserved the benefit of the doubt. “What’s your name?” You stuttered when you said it which was embarrassing enough but then she called him and rather loudly stated that ‘one of your hookups was here to see you’ and when she had said your name, she let out a chuckle at his reaction. “He said he’s busy and just a piece of advice from my personal experience, if he didn’t call you back then he’s really not interested.” You’ve always been good at having a poker face although it proved useless in moments where you were severely upset and this was bordering on becoming one. However, you pushed back whatever tears were threatening to fall and gave her a curt smile. “Noted.” 

When you were finally at your dorm, you couldn’t even sleep. Instead you doodled Pokemon characters in your books and try to make sense of all that had happened. Maybe he wasn’t into you. You were emotional the day that he had confessed, maybe he just pitied you and wanted to spare the pain of rejection. You let out a frustrated sigh as you angrily crushed the paper you were drawing on, aiming it directly into your bin. 

From then on you didn’t message, call or visit Jungkook at all until Saturday night. You remember him telling you that he normally had Saturday nights off unless there was an emergency, most of the cases on those nights were just drunk brawls and people who had too much to drink. The phone rang for a bit before it abruptly stopped indicating that he had hung up on you. You told yourself that was it, the last chance you’d give him. If he wanted to talk to you, he would and evidently, he didn’t. However, forgetting about him was easier said then done which was why you found yourself walking through central park at 8pm in October.

You didn’t do much, just wandered around and stared at ducks which were rather displeased with your lack of bread. You went to a street vendor for a pretzel that was far too overpriced but you didn’t seem to care, happy enough that you had something warm in your hands. You even tried to befriend a small bird but it turned out that it just cared about your pretzel and your so-called ‘friend’ flew away the moment you had finished it. 

Realising you hadn’t checked your phone in a while, you fished it out of your pocket while seated on a park bench and much to your distaste, you had 2 missed calls from the last person you wanted to speak to. 

Jungkook was genuinely busy, that much was true, but even in the moments that he wasn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to reply to you. He grew so accustomed to worrying about no one else but himself that communicating constantly slipped his mind. He wasn’t the best replier and whenever he’d remind himself to call you back, it’d be too late in the night for you to pick up. He wasn’t good at this, he never knew what to say and once you stopped talking to him altogether he felt guilty because his first reaction was relief. He truly was an asshole and you deserved so much better which was why Jungkook had decided to let you go.

Saturday nights were usually reserved for Jungkook’s close circle of friends and their drinking habits. Jungkook normally went home with a girl and this time was no exception, in fact, he desperately needed the distraction. However, mid-way through his conversation with some random girl he had hoped to take home, you rang and he stared at his phone for a moment before hanging up. The moment his finger hit decline, he could feel guilt and regret consume him. 

You hadn’t actually meant to call Jungkook. You had meant to call back Jimin since it was awfully peculiar of him to call you at 11pm (or ever?) for no foreseeable reason but your finger had slipped and you called the person right under Jimin’s contact. Since Jungkook was the last person you called, you called Jungkook and you didn’t even notice until he picked up. You were confused at the voice which was obviously not Jimin’s so you quickly checked the caller ID only to realise it was the man who ghosted you for 2 weeks. 

Jungkook was half-naked and making out with the same girl on his bed when you called again. He forgot to put his phone on silent so the ringing persisted quite loudly. He tried to ignore it but it droned on for a bit. “Just pick it up, I’m not going anywhere.” She gave him a suggestive wink while he apologised and grabbed his phone, walking to the bathroom. “What’s up?” He breathed out in a tone that was evidently annoyed and there was a pause before you replied. “Nothing much, nice to hear from you again.” Your tone was painfully sarcastic and all Jungkook could do was sigh before replying. “Now isn’t a good time Y/N.” “It’s the only time though, right? Since you only pick up the phone once every 14 days.” 

The line went quiet for a bit which allowed you to hear a female voice in the background asking if everything was okay. You weren’t stupid, you got the hint and so you scoffed and hung up. When Jungkook checked his phone again to see that you’d hung up, he ran his hands over his face and resisted the urge to pull his hair out. He hurt you and it was in that brief moment of extreme guilt that Jungkook had realised he regretted every pushing you away. The deed was done though, so he left the bathroom and shook off his guilt. “Sorry, where were we?”

Despite your blood boiling and your fractured heart, you called Jimin back, properly this time. “Hey, Jimin what’s up?” “Hey, it’s an emergency. I need you to tutor me and I-” “No.” And with that you hung up, Jimin was the last person you wanted to spend time with and the last person you owed a favour too.

__________________

It had been 2 weeks since you had last seen Jungkook and your birthday was in 6 days. You weren’t sure how you were going to celebrate it or if you even wanted to at all. You cleared your lessons for that day because you didn’t really feel like spending your 21st birthday with annoying high schoolers. You were still fairly upset about what happened with Jungkook. For the first time, someone showed a genuine interest in you as a person and it turned out to be a complete bust. You were undeniably heartbroken and Jimin surely didn’t fix it.

“Damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” You made a sound of disgust when Jimin interrupted your once peaceful lunch. “I don’t think Alex would approve of this.” A bald faced lie, after all Alex didn’t give a shit what you did. “I don’t think she cares about me enough to approve or disapprove.” “She cried for hours when you broke up, I think she cares.” “Why would she care, she cheated on me.” Your face was tangled in confusion although it sounded like something Alex would do. What you couldn’t understand was why Alex had spread a rumour that Jimin cheated on her. “Why did you let her spread that rumour about you then?” Jimin looked at you, clearly not willing to answer but your curious gaze was undeterred so Jimin continued anyway. “If a girl cheats, she’s labeled the campus slut. If a guy cheats, he just gets praised for it. You see where I’m going here?” You smiled at the realisation that Jimin could be genuinely nice when he wanted to be. What a shocking concept. “And they say chivalry is dead.” Jimin jokingly punched your arm.

“Now, to the point, as you may already know, I’m on the verge of failing Peterson’s class and I desperately need your guidance.” You looked at him weirdly, you tutored high school kids, not students in your classes. “I really can’t help you, sorry,” Jimin whined before grabbing your arm and shaking it like a child. “Pretty please, I need to do well in this class otherwise I have to repeat it and get set a whole semester behind.” “You could just do the class during the Summer.” “Oh Y/N, you’re so funny, I don’t do Summer school, it’s not my thing.” “Maybe it should be?” “Look, I’m begging you, I need your help." You cursed yourself for your extreme sympathy because you resolve was surely wavering. “I can’t tutor you but, you can study with me and I’ll help you out.” Jimin smiled, hugging you in a painfully tight embrace. “Who would’ve thought we’d be study buddies, huh?” Your unimpressed face gave Jimin the impression that you didn’t enjoy his attempt at humour so he immediately shut up.

From that point forward, you and Jimin had unexpectedly spent a lot of time together. He was similar to Alex, only genuinely nice when they chose to be and it was soon obvious why they didn’t work out. They were too alike. In the week leading up to your birthday, you had spent a good portion of your time with Jimin. Albeit most of the time was spent revising, you had actually grown to enjoy his company and truly consider him a friend. 

Unfortunately, the morning of your birthday was a rather anti-climactic one. You didn’t feel any different than your 20-year-old self and you didn’t have any plans for the day. Except one. It was a Saturday and your new roommate was set to move in this Monday which was why you decided that you would get absolutely shit-faced on your birthday. You’d never had alcohol before, never even entered a club and you were excited to explore these things despite the fact that you hate crowded places and bitter things. It was the socially accepted protocol to get drunk on your 21st birthday and who were you to stray from tradition? 

There was a knock on your door which you responded to hesitantly. You knew it would be Jimin since you had buzzed him in but you were dreading the awkward ‘happy birthday’ interaction. “Happy Birthday, kiddo.” You let him in but kicked his shin as he stepped inside, you still hated when he called you that. “Thank you.” You were genuinely thankful in spite of your dreadful tone. It had been a long, hard week and you were simply glad it was over. 

Since Jimin had been part of your ‘friend’ group since 7th grade, he came to every single one of your birthday parties. You threw a party every year as advised by Alex and ebbed though you hated them, they always seemed to make your friends happy. Alex liked to pretend that she was being nice by helping you out but everyone just wanted an excuse to have fun. No one really bought you gifts and people barely even knew the party was for you. And like clockwork, every year, Jimin would be invited to your party and every year, he ignored you. But not this one. 

“I’m going to make up every birthday I’ve ever ruined today.” You giggled a bit out of disbelief, taking the gift that he had brought for you from his hand. “Honestly I don’t mind, I forgot about it.” You didn’t but you weren’t one to hold grudges. At least not for long. “Nope, you are going to have the best 21st birthday in the history of 21st birthdays and then you’re going to forgive me for all the bad things I’ve done and we’re going to be best friends.” You laughed even harder at his monologue, till you realised he was being serious. “Oh wow, you’re actually serious, okay.”

Jimin made you open the large gift box he got you and inside was a short, black dress that you would’ve mistaken for a skirt if not for the lacy sleeves and open back. “Jimin, thank you, it’s a gorgeous dress but you can’t seriously expect me to wear this.” He looked at you with pleading eyes. “I can’t go into the club tonight with a girl who looks like she came out of a Disney production.” You hit Jimin’s head with the box lid. “Fine, I’ll wear the stupid dress as long as you don’t complain when you have to take care of me!” He waved you off and left, assuring you he’d be back at 7pm. 

Jimin came 30 minutes early and helped you with your makeup. Your range was fairly limited since you usually kept things naturally and Jimin didn’t appreciate it. “And you call yourself a lady. Disgraceful.” Jimin also tried to make you wear your hair down but you refused consistently for at least 10 minutes before he gave in. Having your hair down was something you reserved for when you were alone. You just felt more comfortable with it up. 

You convinced Jimin to let you wear a long coat because it was cold outside and you were walking but he made you promise you’d take it off once you got into the club which was a fair condition. However, when you had seen the line you presumed you’d never make it in anyway. Jimin grabbed your hand and waltzed straight to the doors where they immediately greeted him and let him in, no questions asked. They stopped you for an ID check though to which you gladly complied and the bouncer wished you an insincere happy birthday which made you far happier than it should’ve.

When you got in Jimin pulled at your coat which you reluctantly let go of and handed it to the waiters waiting in the foyer. You’d never been to a club before but your imagination couldn’t even fathom this. It was huge. There were hundreds of people and you could feel your anxiety increasing at a riveting pace. “I want to go home.” “Not until you’re completely wasted, let’s go.” Jimin takes you straight to the bar where you both sit, you start to spin yourself on the stool childishly before Jimin abruptly stopped you, scolding you a little as if you were 10.

The bartender was busy taking a group’s order and it took a couple of glances before you realised the group was the NYPD and Jungkook was right there. “Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. Jimin.” You were smacking his arm to get his attention off the menu boards and onto you. “What, child?” You told Jimin about Jungkook during one of the earlier study periods and Jimin was convinced he was actually secretly in love with you but didn’t want to put you in danger which is why he let you go. You laughed a lot at his barbaric fantasy. 

“Look, there’s Jungkook, the one in the white dress shirt.” Jimin skimmed the group and suddenly realised why you were so sure he was out of your league. He was out of everyone’s league. Broad chest and chiseled jaw. The man had an intimidating aura that was balanced out by his softer features like his eyes and lips. Jimin was amazed and he didn’t bother hiding it. “Damn, if I looked like him I’d never let myself get tied down either.” You elbowed his side, pouting angrily. “What Y/N? He’s built like a god, I’m not going to deny it.” “I know. He’s so annoyingly handsome.” Jimin hummed in agreement and after, he looked at you with a devious smile. One that usually signified trouble. “What are you plotting now, Jimin?” He smiled before bringing you closer and speaking at a more hushed tone. “Okay, we’re going to make him jealous and I’m going to prove my theory.” You shook your head rapidly.

“No, absolutely not, it won’t even work.” Jimin grabbed you by the shoulder, staring deeply into your soul. “This is your one and only chance at love you lonely child. You have to take it. If it works you owe me big time.” You cringed at his words. You’d never admit it but a part of you wanted to make him jealous, to throw a big ‘fuck you’ his way after what had happened. But you couldn’t, you didn’t want to hurt him no matter how much he’d hurt you. 

“No, but I do want one of those yellow drinks they’re so cute.” You pointed at a drink which a girl a couple seats away was drinking. “That’s way too strong and I have a feeling your alcohol tolerance is absolutely horrible.” You glared at him for a bit before beckoning the bartender. “Could I get one of those please?” She nodded dutifully with a kind smile and you stuck your tongue out at the rather shocked Jimin. 

Your drink came with fruit and you were excited about how cute it looked. “Ugh, Y/N let’s go dance.” Jimin groaned while simultaneously trying to drag your body away from the bar. “But I just got this drink. Go ahead I’ll join you when I’m done.” That was a lie. You never dance and you didn’t feel like starting. You had been infatuated with your drink despite it tasting quite bitter, it wasn’t something you couldn’t grow to like and so you continued sipping it slowly. With all of your attention fixated with the drink, it would’ve been impossible to notice Jungkook’s curious eyes. 

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Adam Banks

(not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

- You met Adam on ...not so great terms. You were hanging out with your fellow ducks scoffing as they stared at the girls in their sports magazines when the hawks decided to fly in. 

- While the hawks give you a hard time it seems like his eyes keep locking on you yet no insults given. Once Fulton scares them off you decide to ignore the way he kept looking at you and chalk it up to a coincidence. You didn’t expect that you would ever run into each other again except maybe on the ice but then Bombay showed up and introduced him as your new teammate.

- You didn’t like him any more than your fellow teammates did but you also knew that it wasn’t easy joining a new team especially one that didn’t want you. You also found it admirable that he wanted to play hockey so bad that he’d be willing to join “the enemy team”. So once the rest of the team left you stayed behind and offered him a hand to shake as you introduced yourself.

- He’s a bit standoffish and shy but you don’t expect any different so you welcome him to the team and head off onto the ice. It’s obvious that your friendliness meant a lot to him as he gravitated towards you during practice and took the seat next to you whenever you were on the bench. He was going to nervously invite you over to his house or to hang out once practice was over but the other ducks pulled you away before he had the chance.

- The next day during your usual practice drills Adam came over and asked if you would be his partner. You told him sure even though it got you looks from all of your teammates. Adam turned out to be really sweet and you started to feel kind of bad for having not liked him before even if your dislike was justified.

- Throughout practice he would compliment you on your skating and your moves; coming from someone as good as him it really meant a lot. After practice ended he decided to take his chance and before anyone could steal you away he asked if you’d like to hang out. He had won you over with his compliments so you agreed and your friendship began soon after.

- He’s sort of that friend that’s just genuinely stuck in the friend zone but not on purpose. Like you’d date him in a heartbeat but he’s too scared to genuinely ask you out and when he tries you think it’s just him being...well a friend.

- Holds your hand? Good idea wouldn’t want to get lost in this crowd (or you just think nothing of it. Y/n want to go get pizza with me? Of course buddy!

- He’s dying inside yet you have no idea. He most likely just has enough and kisses you one day. Like you’re hanging out in the park one day after he once again unsuccessfully asks you out and you’re talking about nothing in particular while he stares at you. Finally he decides he can’t take it anymore and that he’ll never get it through your head with his words so he leans over and kisses you.

- When you break apart you aren’t sure what to say so you just say nothing and let him lean in again. Once you’ve satisfied your lip locking urges he asks if you’d be his girlfriend and of course you agree. 10/10 best day of your life.

- You spend the rest of your day together acting like a couple instead of just friends. You hold hands, kiss, and have the time of your life while your heart races.

- Adams kind of clingy, mostly because he lost nearly all of his friends and has no one else to hang out with besides you. It’s either you’re free to hang out or he does something by himself.

- Don’t get him wrong he loves the ducks now that they’re on good terms but he isn’t really close to most of them and he just genuinely loves spending time with you. So you end up spending nearly all your days together especially in the summer.

- Trips to the park.

- Arcade dates.

-  Mini golf dates.

- Getting the ducks to be more accepting of him.

- Jokingly calling him “cake eater”.

- He goes all out during the holidays, the two of you have a ton of fun decorating and getting into the seasonal spirit.

- Warming each other’s hands.

- Watching tv and drinking hot chocolate at his house during the winter time.

- He loves cuddling even though he rarely takes part unless you’re completely alone like in his room or on the couch while his parents aren’t home.

- There is no definite position. One day you’re spooning, the next you’re laying on his chest, the next you’re nose to nose. There is no method to your affectionate madness.

- Visiting and trying to cheer him up while he recovers from his injuries.

- He knows all of your habits and is always able to tell when something wrong. He always asks if you’re okay whenever you’re being uncharacteristically quiet.

- Checking him over after every game to make sure he isn’t hiding any injuries. It embarrasses him a little but he’s happy that you care about him so much. 

- He’s extremely protective. Someone even looks at you the wrong way and he’s ready to throw down.

“Her name isn’t babe.”

- His protectiveness also goes hand in hand with his jealousy. A lot of the time he’ll get jealous and then get protective.

- He tends to get jealous pretty easily especially when he’s on injury leave and sees you hanging out with all the guys out on the ice. He’s aware that you were friends with and really close to them before he came along and that sort of intimidates him. He’s the outsider and you’ve known them since forever, in the end he’s the expendable one.

- He’s not a fan of pet names; he thinks your actual name is far prettier than any name he could ever come up with.

- The ducks always tease the two of you but you’re just happy that they’re finally accepting Adam as part of the group.

- Tight hugs that last for a long time.

- Anytime you make a score you can count on him cheering and clapping like mad. He’s so proud of you, it’s adorable.

- Eating together after practice/games. It can range from fast food to going to each others houses.

- Tying each others skates.

- Practicing together.

- In the summers you’ll practice in his driveway and end your days buying from the ice cream truck and sitting on the curb eating your treats.

- Kissing bruises and other injuries. 

- Cheek kisses, head kisses, nose kisses; just so many kisses.

- Nap dates.

- The ducks called him a cake eater for a reason, he’s from a wealthy family so whenever you go somewhere he usually insists on paying. It’s sort of just the way he was raised (chivalry and all that).

- He tries his hardest to get you the perfect birthday/anniversary presents. You assure him that you would love anything he gave you but he still stresses over it. Although you have to hand it to him; he usually succeeds in his goal.

- Flowers; his mother picks them from their garden to give to you.

- Every now and again he’ll apologize for how he treated you when he was a hawk. You just roll your eyes and kiss his cheek.

- Going to the store together and buying junk food for the two of you to eat while you hang out.

- One of you have probably lied to your parents and said you were going to a (same sex) friends house but instead slept over at each other’s houses.

-He probably shows up at your window at random times; usually at night, just because he misses you.

- He gets a bit worried when he decides to join the varsity team. He doesn’t want you getting mad at him or just slowly falling out of love. 

- Even though you’re disappointed (and a little hurt) that he wouldn’t be on the same team as you you were still proud of him and assured him that you would love him no matter what. He asks you to wear his sweatshirt/jacket as proof. 

- Being together proves a little hard when you have to face off against each other. You try your hardest but end up suggesting taking a break which really upsets him. The two of you fight and end up breaking it off for real. The two of you are miserable even if your teammates tell you that you’re better off without each other.

- You’re so happy and relieved when Adam comes back to the ducks but you’re still keeping your distance. He’s the one to approach you and ask if you can talk. The two of you apologize to each other and make up and after that you’re back to normal.

- Other than when he joined varsity you rarely ever fight unless it has to do with his injuries or something equally serious. Its rarely ever real fights rather it’s just the two of you arguing a little. In the end he usually agrees with you and everything’s fine.

- Lots of compliments. He likes to praise you and make sure you know how proud he is of you.

- He says ‘I love you’ a lot. He usually says it seriously, it’s rarely ever said in a joking way. He just really wants you know how he feels.

- He dreams of marrying you and having little hockey stars.

[fromtheashesofvalyria]

They were both too young to know how to love.

Of course leave it to Harry Potter to be what drags me back into writing fan fiction. Apologies to people who follow me already since this is pretty different from posts I’ve done in the past, so feel free to ignore. 

I just wanted to try and get some thoughts out about a fanfiction I’m currently writing, specifically the relationship between Harry and Daphne. Or the lack of one right now anyway. ;)

The basic background is that this is a soulmate AU with soulmate marks and empathy/semi-telepathy (I’m not sure what to call it honestly). The three main ships are Dramione, Ransy, and Pottgrass, and it’s a slowburn enemies to lovers starting from Goblet of Fire on. Emphasis on slowburn and enemies considering two of the involved are Draco and Pansy.

Before I started writing again, the only ones of those three I shippped/read fanfiction of were Draco/Hermione and Pansy/Ron. I originally picked Daphne because I’d read fics that had her as a character and liked her in them; after that I read two fanfics that made me really ship them, because the amount of ships I have due to fanart/fanfic is huge. (Previously I was, and actually still am, a Nottgrass shipper because I am a multi-shipper a lot of the time.)

I’m going to put the rest of my rambling under the cut.

So there are a couple different things going on here. The most superficial was that, when I had started writing, I’d been re-watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries so I was a bit influenced by Pride and Prejudice when writing Daphne at first. Specifically the inspiration was Matthew Macfaden’s Darcy from the 2005 movie and Daniel Vincent Gordh’s William Darcy from LBD. (And as an aside Astoria was slightly based on Georgianna from the 2005 movie and Gigi Darcy from LBD.)

The inspiration became less strong the more I wrote, but her being standoffish/cold/rude to non-Slytherins (except Astoria) and the scene where Daphne tries to make a deal with Harry was inspired by Darcy's first, horrible proposal to Elizabeth. But that’s the shallower reason, let’s get into the meat of it, which is background vs appearance. 

Harry Potter was orphaned at the age of one years old, was raised in an abusive family who didn’t even give him a room for ten years, had no friends until he got to Hogwarts, and was lied to by the Dursleys’ about what his parents were actually like. There were no pictures of his parents, he wasn’t told they were a witch and wizard, and he didn’t even know they were murdered. When he is told about his parents, he is given the romanticized view of James and Lily and their relationship. He thinks they were the perfect picture of soulmates, as he hasn’t been told that James was once a jerk that Lily really disliked. His first real experience of familial love was with the Weasleys and thinks of them as the best family in the world. Daphne knows nothing of this aside from the fact that he was raised by muggles; I don’t think she thought much about Harry at all outside of times parts of his adventures were found out by the school. Like the flying car incident. As she said in the fanfic, Harry just sort of existed to Daphne. 

Harry is only fourteen years old at the start of the fic, and has only had a crush on Cho at this point, but he does know that he wants to have the real love and respect his parents had. He wants to have a family of his own that would actually be loving. He doesn’t want his potential future children to grow up without love. And, most importantly, he doesn’t think Daphne is capable of that. 

What Harry knows about Daphne’s background is that she’s part of an old, wealthy pureblood family a la the Malfoys or the Parkinsons. (He wouldn’t know the term Sacred Twenty-Eight.) That’s pretty much it and would be about the amount of knowledge all the students from the other houses would know (except for Astoria, the Ravenclaw little sister, who is just as uncomfortable as Daphne when asked to talk about their parents). Harry is also generally dismissive of Slytherin house as a whole thanks to Draco and his gang; he thought they looked like a “pale and unpleasant lot'' at the Welcome Feast in first year. 

Here’s how Daphne comes across to the kids outside of Slytherin: standoffish; doesn’t seem to talk much outside of class participation, and is often sarcastic when she does; doesn’t seem to have friends outside of Slytherin and the only non-Slytherin she is consistently genuinely affection towards is her little sister, and not everyone sees that; while not a member of Pansy’s gang is still known to be a good friend of Pansy’s, and is also close to Blaise who is seen as equally snobby. 

(Speaking of Blaise, Daphne still wants to know why she’s the only one to get an insulting nickname like Ice Queen when Blaise and Theo are often just as anti-social towards the other houses as she is. In Theo’s case, more so. XD) 

Of course, it’s easy to sympathize with Daphne when you know what her background is really like. Her parents, despite being soulmates, have an absolutely toxic relationship that their daughters had to witness: “Daphne Greengrass hadn’t been a fan of the soulmate concept for years now. She could even pinpoint the exact moment her disillusionment started: the night before her sixth birthday when her father finally told her mother that, soulmates or not, he had never loved her and had only married her out of both obligation to the bond and to the alliance with her family. This had then turned into a screaming match in her father’s study accompanied by the sound of glass being thrown at a wall.” This is just one incident. 

Daphne was so used to her parents arguing (and to be really clear, I’m not talking about normal arguments couples have; I’m talking about full-blown trying to verbally/emotionally hurt the other as possible or just arguing to try and win against the other person) that she was already making it her job to comfort Astoria, who “was still a baby, and upset by it”. Daphne has grown up with a very dim view of romance and romantic love. 

Now, Daphne does know that people can be genuinely in love. For all their many, many faults, Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy are devoted to each other. Pansy’s parents aren’t on the same level, but are loving/affectionate enough with each other. However, she doesn’t think love and happiness are guaranteed so it’s better to have something more solid like respect or trust. However, that is hard to get across to Harry because she’s grown up to think being emotional is bad/a weakness and it’s hard for her to open up to people she doesn’t know well. (Pansy was her first friend at five years old and is still her best friend up until this point; it’s also the reason her other friends are the Slytherins she’s known for years at this point. People she’s used to.)

She could have approached Harry differently, flirted, or suggested dating, or tried to be romantic but she would have thought of that as dishonest/manipulative. Because Daphne knows love isn’t guaranteed for soulmates. Because Daphne knows she’s not the most likeable person. Because Daphne isn’t sure she could love Harry and doesn’t want to lie about it. Yes, Slytherins are all about cunning and clever ways to get what they want, but this is one of the areas Daphne would not even consider something like that. For all her issues, Daphne does have some standards. 

Self-control and (just control in general) is something Daphne clings to because her parents were often unpredictable and she had to create a sense of being in control of her life. Her father is not a warm or empathetic person and he looks down on people being too emotional. (Yes, this is supposed to be hypocritical considering he’d get into screaming matches with his wife.) He would be out of the house a lot for both work and to get away from his wife. Her mother was emotionally and mentally in a bad place for a long time and withdrew from her children a bit. She improved by the time Daphne was at school, but her favorite is clearly Astoria for reasons that will be expanded on later. Daphne tells herself she gets it because Astoria is her favorite family member too. (Also I just want to make this clear, Daphne and Astoria are close siblings who genuinely love and care about each other. Daphne is also Astoria’s favorite family member. Their relationship, as I like to see/write it could be another post though so moving on.) 

This need for self-control also was because of the stutter she had growing up. She was already self-conscious about it and she was very aware that her parents (her father in particular) saw it as a problem, which stressed her out more and made her stutter worse. The more emotional she’d get, the more likely she’d stutter. Whereas the more comfortable she was, the less often it happened. Pansy already mentioned in one of her POV’s that she barely heard Daphne stutter around her after a while; not a huge spoiler or surprise, but it was the same with Astoria. One of Daphne’s pre-Hogwarts tutors was essentially a wizard speech therapist, so she had it under control by first year but it was still recent enough at the time that she was pretty afraid of slipping up at school. Also consider the fact that some students (not just Slytherins either, but from all houses) made fun of Quirrell's stutter, and he was a teacher. (Yes he was evil, and only pretending to have one, but they didn’t know that then.) How much worse would the teasing be for a first year student? So as her father told her, sometimes it’s better not to talk at all. 

Harry doesn’t know any of this. 

Before things really started in the fanfic, Harry’s one interaction with Daphne that really stood out to him was that time she was sarcastic to him in first year after his first Quidditch game: “You know my family made the snitches used at Hogwarts. Please try not to choke on another of them next time.” When fourth year started, she ignored him completely in the Great Hall, and didn’t help her friend in a way he didn’t recognize/understand. 

The next day, Daphne sends him a note ordering him to meet her during lunch, after not acknowledging him in public. (As Harry says, she didn’t even write please. It also didn’t ask him for a date and time to talk, just told him to meet her in a specific location.) When he asked if she was proposing to date him, she “made a truly exasperated sounding noise” which definitely hurt his pride a little. She also tried to approach a relationship (not necessarily even a romantic relationship, just in general) with him, someone she has barely spoken to,  like a business deal, which he thinks is a cold way to look at it and he loses his temper. However, it should be noted that she asked him why when he rejected her out of hand and well, don’t ask a question you wouldn’t want an answer to. 

Later on he sees her picking on a second year for seemingly no reason. In reality, this is a girl who did something to her sister and Daphne doesn’t let things like that slide when it comes to people she cares about. 

Now afterwards things get murkier because Daphne is wanting to freeze him out/ignore him, but he is the one to poke at her. The soulmate bond is like an outside force that pushes down on two people to try and force them together, which can be downright unbearable if you really don’t like the other person. Harry finds the pressure it puts on them very hard and is stunned when she acts like she’s not affected at all. (He’d feel better if he knew she was feeling it just as much as him. Sort of like how Hermione and Ron both take comfort in the fact that Draco and Pansy are having as bad a time with the bond as they are.) He’s already under stress from the situation with his scar hurting and Sirius leaving his hideout to come back to England because of it, now add on to that the stress of an outside magical force trying to bond him to a girl he doesn't like and who doesn’t like him. No, he’s not handling it in a great way, but he’s young. 

And Daphne could always try and talk to him about things good (sending him a song through the bond to help him sleep when worry for Sirius was keeping him up) and bad (the incident with the second year), but she doesn’t try. Partly it’s out of pride, but largely it’s because she’s developed unhealthy coping skills that she doesn’t realize are unhealthy.

[mechmech]

Ok so I know this is like my first post but I’ve been working on it cause a friend did it for their dnd character and I was like this could be fun and give people some insight. Questions wandered as Mecha 1-100

Smell like: oil, sweat, and more recently baby spit-up

Voice: Not many people will understand this fem-V from cyberpunk. Sorta gravely

Motivator: Research mostly. Finding out new things and applying them. More recently though her kid and making a better world for them.

Most embarrassing memory: She doesn’t like to share this story, but when she was younger and moved around with her sister mecha, she was afraid to GO in the woods because she accidentally wandered onto a farmer’s land and was caught pantsless.

How do they react to pain: “ You wanna hit me go ahead, just stay away from the hands and eyes” She can deal with a great deal of physical pain but when it comes to emotions and others she is like a mage named Corren

Wear: Normally throughout the day, she wears her metal armor. Outside of her armor, she wears a simple black dress when relaxing, a work apron while working, and always Always gauntlets and a blindfold

Most positive relationship: THis is difficult because so many of them have done different things, but most probably Corren and her want to be more good like him

The weirdest thing I have ever eaten: Correns cooking

Sleep: “Alister! Corren! Cuddle me!” Yea she will cuddle up with almost any person who trusts and it depends on the person. Alister: Alister is the big spoon and mecha buries herself into his chest and stomach. Corren: Mecha is like a koala to Corren and just hugs onto a single leg.

Favorite food/ kinda food: Vegetables honestly, but also baked goods like bread

Most insecure about: How others see her

Like to wear: adaptable clothing, something that can be used for many different functions and also gotta be able to get dirty and clean when you need it

How do they react to feelings of guilt: Previously they bottled them up, but more and more they are learning to talk to others about that guilt. Ultimately she always feels guilty for something

React to betrayal: Depends on the person buuuttttt, angry, blames themself for part of it, tries to move on quickly

Greatest achievement: MOCHA

Too little sleep: quiet and most likely taking a nap in the skeleton’s arms. That's If she is actually tired. Shel heals fatigue in an instant.

What are they like a drunk: If she drinks and gets drunk and that's a big if she becomes an I love you drunk and we'll just tell everyone what she likes about them before passing out.

Music likes: A lot of Rock and techno music, a little bit of pop only because it fits.

Right or left-handed: She always works with her hammer in her right hand.

Fears: Being completely alone, losing her friends, losing Mocha, destroying the world, the unknown, diseases, being like her mother

Favorite weather: Nice sunny days with a slight breeze

Favorite color: it’s hard because it's between gold and blue

Collect anything: besides random trophies, rocks that she sometimes gives away.

Hot or cold weather: Hot because you can cool down easily.

Eye color: Goldenish/ yellow

Race/ ethnicity: Well Gremlin in Sekrezia, in the real world through it's between Brazilian and Irish

Hair color: Ginger/ red

Happy where they are currently: Nope, not even a little bit. She's upset because she believes she has possibly doomed the world and has actually found someone she can connect with/ has some feeling for and they just keep backsliding her. She also hates that she has to leave her new daughter.

Mounting person: YES!!! Up early to get shit done

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise is extremely pretty to watch especially when you can but caves are a thing.

Messy or organized: Like myself, it's a chaotic form of organization

Pet peeves: Jumping to conclusions, mistreating machines

Objects of significant importance: Her forge hammer which is like a badge of office saying she is a member of a smithing guild and her evil eye because a really good friend helped her make it.

Least favorite food: The rock she accidentally tried to eat while she was tired delirious one night in a cave.

Least favorite color: Kelly Green. Look it looks like puke, nothing against other greens but this one ugh

Least favorite smell: Decaying flesh

The last time they cried: mhhh a few weeks but it's gonna be soon. Definitely the birth of her child.

Anybody with them: entire party forMochas birth, but other than that Corren and Alistar

The time they got injured: Well getting crushed by a giant cube was bad, the worst injury would probably be getting dragged into lava by her own creation that she loved.

Scars: Nope none so far that are physical. Some mental ones that she's working through.

Mental health issues: Paranoia, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, PTSD

Bad habits: Shutting everyone else out.

Why might someone dislike her: SHe can be a bit standoffish and definitely hard-headed.

Why might someone love her: He has a big heart for those she cares about, she's smart and also creates a lot of small gifts that aren't for value but personal reasons.

Believe in ghosts: Literally was in a plane of the dead, soooo yes

Anyone they would trust with their life: Corren, Alistar, Torvid, Simple,

Romantically interested in anyone: Spectra, depends on the person. ACE and Demiromantic

Dating/ Married: Complicated is what it is. Yes dating somewhat but it’s not a good relationship

Like surprises: Yes, surprises are nice and add a bit of fun to life. Other than a somewhat surprising pregnancy.

Birthday: I honestly forget but it's their weave day

Celebrate their birthday: Only with those they care about, which is few but some members of the party yes.

Family: Dad is dead, Mom is alive supposedly but she was supposed to be dead, and sister is possibly dead but in a bit of denial about it

Close to their family: Chosen family yes.

MBTI type: ISTP

Zodiac signs: I forget the sekrezian one but in real life Aquarius

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Alignment; Chaotic neutral/ good

Nightmares: Losing the entire party in ways that they caused ore were directly a part of.

View on death: CHanged a lot as their questline has gone on but “Once someone has passed from this world and seen the raven queen and chosen their afterlife that is it, they are at peace and will stay there unless the gods dictate differently. Past a resurrection people should not come back. I have learned this the hard way and watched what happens when you play with death”.

Something they always laugh at: Corren getting flustered and digging himself into holes he can't get out of.

When bored, what do they do: Read a book/ tinker with new experiments

Enjoy the outside: yes, especially new areas where there are unexplored places.

Accent: Somewhat of a german accent but I’m no good at replicating it

Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, the first reaction: “Who left this perfectly good piece of cake here?”

If they knew they were going to die what would they do/ say: Alister: Be a good father to Mocha, Corren: Be a good stepfather to Mocha and make sure Alister stays on the right path, Simple Geoff: didn't like you at first but your apart of my family now, Maple: Live your best life and don't let other people tell you what you can be also given up on revenge it's never as sweet as you think, Lautrec: (Opens box) sorry it took a while, Vlog: “you don't like me, I kinda like you, protect your own but never stop learning and exploring.

Feelings about sex: Mecha doesn’t want sex and feels really uncomfortable with it especially around people she doesn’t know, but around friends, she’s willing to talk about it but will also respect preferences.

Sexuality: questioning, but Grey-ace

Squeamish around blood: Nope “ I saved a man that had a lethal arrow through his neck”

Anything they find gross: Living hair/ hair constructs

TV trope: Reclusive nerd with a big heart

Enjoy helping people: Yes she really likes to help those who need it, but if she believes you can help yourself she will leave you to it.

Allergies: Seasonal/ pollen

Pet: Multiple constructs that range from a skeleton to a walking piece of glass

Quick to anger: No, she has somewhat of a calm head that eventually boils over and then causes a big yelling fight/ random actions such as throwing a stick of dynamite in a graveyard.

How patient is she: Rather patient especially when listening, not the greatest responder though

Good at cooking: Hell yea they are, give them a pan and they'll make you a feast

Favorite insult:” I'm coming for your knees” “Don't make me get the fume engine”

How do they act when happy: Huge grin on their face and they start fidgeting.

What do they do when they learn about others’ fears: Tease them slightly in private but keep the information to themselves.

Trustworthy: yes and very loyal to her friends.

Do they try to hide their emotions: Definitely but not always the greatest at hiding them cause everyone has a great sense of motive.

Exercise regularly: We walk and adventure every day while she carries probably over 25lb of mechanical items so yes.

Comfortable with the way they look: Mhh sometimes, but not always. She really doesn't like that she reminds herself of her sister or that she has distinct eyes.

Features they find attractive on others: Not really features, she's more into personality but she does like people’s eyes.

Personalities they find attractive: Protective, Kind, Smart, honest, loyal.

Do they like sweet foods: definitely into the sweeter things in life,

Age: in sekrezia: 204, equivalent age is like 45-55

Tall or short: 3ft pretty short but and on the shorter side of her race

Glasses or contacts: Nope just a cool ass blindfold and no it's not for BDSM

Consider herself attractive: Nope, not at all. SHes surprised if someone likes her in that way.

Sense of humor: Both dark and sexual but at the same time dad jokes as much as possible. Also random improv she comes up with on the spot, which is slightly me

What mood are they in most often: THe mood of trying to figure out how something works

What angers them: Hurting children, hurting the party, destroying art and machines, using others to your own gain, rape, slavery

Outlook on life: “Life is full of twists and turns. There is never bad without good. Take your time and really think about what you do, but don't forget to also just let go and go wild every now and then.

What makes them sad or depressed: THinking of their family/ friends being gone, children with no home, Mocha growing up alone.

Greatest weakness: Turning the mind against them/ lack of belief in herself and that she is not responsible for the world.

Greatest strength: Open mind and somewhat open heart.

Something they regret: not letting them self grieve for pax in a different way than hunting them down and screwing the world.

Biggest accomplishment: Having a kid

Hope for the future: open an orphanage and continue helping the Fucks make the world at least a little brighter.

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

@kawaiiipandaa said,

Hello! I was wondering if I could request a matchup? This is my first time doing this, so please let me know if I'm doing something wrong! ^^; For starters, I'm a Cancer and I'm 157 cm [ 5'2 ]. I suppose you can say my most distinct physical features are my short hair and glasses. Some of my hobbies consist of reading/writing stories, sewing [ just learned last year but I'm pretty proud of the pillows I've crafted ], and occasionally sketching.

I dislike large crowds, most seafood and speaking out loud. Personality-wise, I can be pretty standoffish and aloof upon first meetings. As I grow more comfortable with an individual, I'm known to be easily-embarrassed, somewhat clingy but still very much awkward. I laugh at jokes even when they aren't funny and tend to space out at times. I have a hard time opening up about my feelings, so most say that it's hard to understand me.

I prefer for things to go how I've planned for them to and when they don't, I get anxious.

✧ Thank you so much for requesting a matchup. I literally have no idea when you send this and I’m genuinely sorry for the very long wait. Please look after yourself. I wish you good health and all the best! 💓

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; The first time you met Kazunari was via a mutual friend of yours. It really wasn’t that surprising, considering the fact that he is someone who can talk to anyone without any discrimination. And when you guys did meet, there wasn't anything special between you two― you were just his friend’s friend which was also in the same year as him, and he was just your friend’s friend. He would smile at you whenever you were near each other, maybe strike up a conversation and out of politeness, you would give him a small smile back, weirdly enough, that was all and your friend was totally depressed about it. They wanted you guys to be friends too, or maybe more than friends but you don’t know that😌. Sometimes your friend group and his would have lunches together, which wasn't rare but also wasn't common either. And you would occasionally share a laugh and coversation with the others along with Kazunari, but you were always closer with your side of friends. But one day, you've gotten sick but you didn't want to burden and worry your friends because their classes were still ongoing so you had no choice but to try and walk home before you fainted but that day was said to have a rainy weather, and when you were about to leave to the school gates, not caring if you’d get soaked or not, a familiar voice called out for you, running up to you. You were confused, nevertheless stopped yourself as you saw Kazunari’s figure coming closer to you. “Oh, Kazunari.” your hoarse voice was evident, but you tried to clear your throat anyways. “I heard you were sick and you had to go home.” he started off, “Here,” he handed you an umbrella you didn't notice he held on his right hand. “I heard that it was going to rain today and saw that you didn't have an umbrella.” Not going to lie, you wasn’t expecting that. “No i could't i―” "What? Could it be that you are falling for me? I just made your heart flutter, didn’t I?” He asked excitedly, only to receive a blank look from you, the unfamiliar thumping on your chest, butterflies in your stomache being unknown to him. “Sorry, sorry. I just couldn’t pass the opportunity to tease ya you know?” He said with a smile and continued. “Your friends wouldn't be happy since you're already sick, and I still some classes and a spare umbrella. Get well soon ♪.” As you accepted his umbrella, you walked home with nothing but Kazunari wondering in the deepest cevices of your mind that you didn't know existed. After that day, something kinda changed between you guys. Don’t get me wrong, smiling at each other in the hallways were still a thing; but there were a bit newer accompanies, the peach on your cheeks, and the nervousness on both of your nerves. The two of you would have a small chit-chats with each other even if it's just the two of you inside a classroom, occasionally laughing at a joke one of you had up your sleeves. You and Kazunari would hold unusual, and long gazes at each other― the one would also look at the other when they aren't looking, and vice versa. You get the point. It was some time after that kdrama kinda thing that Kazunari invited you to watch him perform at Mankai.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; You two compliment each other perfectly! If I had to describe your relationship it would be introverted found its extroverted and I think it’s really cute skdhskdhkdhd. He loves how easily-embarrassed and clingy you are because hello??? he literally finds you the cutest thing ever. I headcanon him as the type of boyfriend who hugs you from behind as soon as he sees you or just closes your eyes with his hands and asks “Guess who, cutie~?”. I wouldn’t worry too much about having hard time opening up about your feelings or being hard to understand. He may not look like it but this boy is perspective. Very perspective. I feel like Kazunari is naturally observant of others' behavior due to being overly concerned about what other people think of him. This helps him notice the tiniest details of others, including their habits and personality. He’s not the type of person who would force you to spill everything inside your head. Instead, he would let you know that no matter what, he’s here to talk. That he’s here for you. After all, he knows how it feel like to not voice the things inside your head because you feel like it would only cause unnecessary trouble for the receiver. Kazunari teaches you that love should be fun and full of joy. There’s no reason that loving someone should be completely serious and perfect; imperfections make love real, they make love unique. His impulsive way of loving you is uniquely him; he loves you deeply, and diving into that pool of bottomless love he has for you from the highest diving board with no lifeguard near sparks more joy in him than should be humanly possible. He falls in love with how fun it is to love— with how fun it is to be in love with you. 

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; Since you have a harder time with big crowds than him, who doesn't mind showy spectacles, he usually spends time inside for you because he doesn’t want you to become uncomfortable. But be sure to offer going on outside dates to him from time to time. Both of you are into crafting, so I can imagine you two making masks, drawing together or making collages. You just get together to hang out and decorate your masks. You can both do your own thing or have them based on a theme. Whatever works for both of you. Don’t worry if they turn out horrible, that’s part of the fun. Oh, and Kazunari will make sure to get some photos together after you finish and post them on his social media accounts. Also, you two have a fun drawing game, where one person draws one part, and then the other does the next part. Or if you want a really interesting picture, one person draws until a timer runs out and then the next person goes. Depending on how serious you are taking the game, the finished piece is usually either a masterpiece or something that neither of you can describe. Needless to say, you two get a good laugh on the later. Oh, also I hope you don’t mind PDA because Kazunari likes to show the world your good times. The conversation would never cease as you lay wrapped in his arms. One arm would be slung around your waist, and the other resting beneath your head. Usually cuddling with Kazunari would be playful, more tickling than actually laying around, but sometimes, like a lull in the storm, he would stop talking, choosing instead to bury his nose deep in the crook of your neck. The room would be cast in silence. As you laid beside him though his mind reeled. You were real. You were beside him, a goddess in a mortal world, and you were with him out of every person in this world. Of course you had faults, but they were what made you, you. “I love you.” He would say, breaking the silence of the room, and causing you to startle. He had to tell you though. For all he knew, you would disappear like the dream you seemed to be, when he opened his eyes again.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Kazunari’s birthday is on August 1, which makes him a Leo. Cancer and Leo both have a playful attitude and a desire for an epic, enduring romance. These two are neighbors on the zodiac wheel, and depending on the degree of their sun, they share many of the same cosmic energies. They are fun-loving and creative. Leo likes romantic gestures, and Cancer knows how and when to show sincere affection. Both are strongly loyal, even to the point of possessiveness, Cancer for safety’s sake, Leo for the sake of their self-confidence. They are also both committed to a enduring, rewarding connection. Since their desires are similar, a Cancer and a Leo may fill very important voids in each other’s lives. What’s the best aspect of the Cancer-Leo relationship? Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony.

[pokemon-ventures]

Blank Slate

Part 5, part 4 here.

A busy day leads to a lazy afternoon with the two cooling off inside. No smut...yet. Gotta make y’all suffer a bit first ;)

Your impromptu nap started out well until your dreams jolted you awake with the events leading up to now. The face of a Graveler stared at you and you felt something heavy hit your head from the side before it all goes black. When you sit up in bed, your head pounds and your heart races with adrenaline.

The room settles around you, revealing the master bedroom with Lance beside you, fast asleep. He looks as though he’s showered, fresh clothes and damp hair, and comfortable curled up next to you. You can’t help the smile that comes to your face looking at him, his strong jaw, thick hair and lashes draw your attention. There’s a small scar on his cheek, probably from his pokemon, and a small crease in his brows.

You nearly lean down to press your lips to it, but think better of it. Physically you’re married, but it honestly feels like you’re a new couple and that feels unfair to him. Your relationship had been fair until a few days ago, now he’s the one holding the fort until you can again.

But will you ever?

The thought makes you flinch at the thought of it not working out between the two of you because of what happened. It’d make sense though, your last memory is of a time before Lance came into your life. Who’s to say you didn’t miss it?

Okay, (Y/N), cool it on the drama, you scold yourself.

Intimacy destroyed by your thoughts, you slip out of bed and pull on his sweater before tip toeing into the hallway to explore the house. Once out of the door, your eye catches on a series of photos along the wall. You missed them coming through here, but now that you have a moment to breathe, you peer closer.

Some are of your family, old photos taken when you were younger to graduating high school and going to vet school to be a nurse. Then it’s Lance’s family, the official photos at clan gatherings and such up to him getting inducted into the Hall of Fame. He looks just the same, only a bit more mature in the face compared to his earlier years. Some of the looks you recognize simply because of the posters probably still at home in your parent’s house.

You clutch the sweater tighter as it comes to the first pictures of you and him. It’s strange looking at yourself in a photo you don’t remember being in.

The first one looks like an early date at an ice rink in Blackthorn. You dislike ice skating, so you’re shocked to see one of the biggest shit-eating grins on your face next to Lance. He also looks adorable with a navy, knitted ski hat on his head, hands grasping yours most likely to keep you from falling.

“(Y/N)?” you hear Lance call from the room, his voice groggy.

You blink away some tears in your eyes and call to him. “Out here.”

The bed creaks a bit as he heaves himself up and staggers to the door. He comes out stretching his arms, giving you a good look at his stomach as his shirt rides up. It makes you blush and turn back towards the pictures.

“How are you feeling?” he wipes his eyes. “What time is it?”

You shrug in response to his last question. “I’m feeling good.”

He joins you, pointedly putting his hands behind his back as he observes the same photo as you. That day ensured him he was in it for the long haul with you. You had expressed you didn’t like ice skating but he was adamant you try it with him there. While he didn’t change your mind, he at least got you to hate it a little less.

Every time you fell, you laughed and teased he wanted to see you at your worst before a second date. It wasn’t the intention, but if that was your worst, he was lucky.

“How did we meet?” you turn to him with clouded eyes.

His face brightens at the question and guides you to a photo down a few more paces. This one is later on in the relationship with how you sit on his lap, arm around his neck and other resting on his chest. The two of you are in Olivine, on the beach with the lighthouse in the background. Jasmine has joined you with her pokemon, Amphy beside her.

“I was doing my usual inspections in Olivine, meeting with Jasmine,” he explains with a fond smile. “When I got here, she left a note saying she was at the lighthouse for Amphy. The poor pokemon is susceptible to a lot of illnesses and I didn’t mind a change of scenery. When I got out there,” he glances down at you, gold eyes blazing with emotion, “there was a beautiful nurse there, laughing and talking with Jasmine. The way you worked with Amphy captivated me. He was completely at ease with you, barely reacted when you gave him a shot.”

“Amphy’s a good boy,” you shrug. “A lot of pokemon are unbothered by that.”

He laughs. “That’s the same thing you said when I complimented you that day. Anyways, Jasmine insisted the three of us head to her favorite restaurant for the meeting and to thank you for taking care of Amphy.”

“Don’t tell me,” you start. “We hit it off during lunch?”

“Oh, I was sure you hated me,” he scoffs. “You were standoffish and barely looked me in the eye.”

You flush realizing you were just flustered he was there and probably thinking about all the Lance stickers, notebooks and posters you’d bought in your younger years. It’d be the only reason you would appear that way to him.

“Oh no!” you groan, dropping your head in your hands.

“Oh, yes,” he snickers, patting your back. “Afterwards, Jasmine could tell I was put off and let me know what was really going on.”

“Oh no!”

“I think it’s sweet you supported me,” he clutches his stomach, trying to contain his laughter. “Really, (Y/N), it’s adorable.”

“Lance!” you squeak, smacking him. “Stop it! I’m gonna die of embarrassment.”

“Babe, no,” he wipes at his tears. “After that, I found you at the center and asked you to dinner.”

“Did I faint?” you ask, completely serious.

“I thought you were going to.”

“Oh my god,” you breathe, glancing back at the picture.

You look so happy with him, and he looks so happy with you. It looks like how sleeping beside him felt last night. It’s a comforting thought that you’ll be able to pull through this with him. 

You glance at a few more before stopping at the sight of yourself at your wedding. “Whoa.”

“Yeah, I said the same thing,” he murmurs, standing beside you to admire the photo of the two of you.

He looks amazingly handsome in a suit, broad shoulders and even waist all the way down. Standing next to him, you look radiant with a flowing dress down to the sand beneath your feet. You’d always wanted a wedding on the beach in Olivine, at lease it had come true.

“You okay?” Lance’s voice pulls you to the present, his finger ghosting your cheek as some tears fall.

“Y-yeah,” you mutter, wiping them yourself. “It’s just strange,” you press your hand against the photo, “seeing myself there and not remembering it.”

“It’ll get better,” he sets a hand on your shoulder. “There’s no need to rush recovery.”

“I mean, I guess,” you shrug. At his confused look you sigh. “I just... I feel bad I don’t remember this stuff. You’re technically alone right now. I’m just a blank slate of the (Y/N) you knew. Doesn’t that bother you?”

He tilts his head at you, his brows furrowed. “Not at all. You’re the same (Y/N) I met in Olivine and married in Olivine. You just don’t remember the events leading to this part of your life. I won’t lie, it hurts you don’t remember much, but I can’t force it. I can only support you.”

You stare at him. “You really love me that much?”

He holds out his arms and lets you walk into his embrace, he holds you tight to him. “That and so much more, (Y/N).”

Taglist:

@soundcitysession @cyndaquilsion

[danganronpa-tng]

Introduction to Katelyn Momota!

(I accidentally posted the last two to the wrong blog! Here is Vanessa and here is Karma! Sorry for that 😅)

“I’m... Katelyn Momota. Ultimate Psychiatrist. Let me know if... you need to talk, or something.”

“Ah, I’m Hayden Arikashikari! Nice to meet you.”

“Right. I hope we can get along.”

- - -

Katelyn is the distant, collected child of Maki Harukawa and Kaito Momota! She’ll offer to listen to anyone who needs it, but most of the time she’ll be pretty standoffish. She doesn’t make a conscious effort to like people, and even if she does she usually fails, although she doesn’t phrase it like that. She hasn’t felt proper romantic attraction before as far as she’ll say, but she’s shown interest in people of all genders, including non-binary people. 

- - -

“Ah, a... killing game? ...I see...”

“You don’t seem that too phased by this...”

“I am simply trying to remain calm. Why, is that a problem for you, Oliver?”

“Wh- no, no!”

“Good.”

“...rude...”

- - -

Her best friend in the game is Aspen. They get subconsciously closer without either really trying. Aspen has a positive influence on Katelyn, who makes a small effort to be a bit nicer.

Her least favourite person is Estrella. She holds a personal grudge against Estrella for some unknown reason. Estrella doesn’t respond to this grudge much, but it’s most likely that she’s aware of why Katelyn dislikes her. 

- - -

Katelyn is good at investigating after a body is discovered. She doesn’t waste any time comforting the others at all, instantly looking around the scene when the body is found. She hardly even waits for Monokuma. Because of this, she ends up finding some extra clues around.

- - -

For the first few years of her life, Katelyn grew up being raised by Kaito and Maki, having a very Good childhood. However, when she was 7, Kaito passed away due to an illness, leaving Maki to take care of her (which worked out well, as Maki used to be the Ultimate Child Caregiver before she was exposed). Maki considered leaving multiple times, but didn’t want her child to grow up like she did, so she was raised by Maki alone. Maki never told Katelyn how Kaito died.

- - -

Yaretzi is up next!

[questionablygourmet]

I Like This Show A Normal Amount: Will Graham As Autistic Representation

In a previous meta post about Will, I briefly alluded to my appreciation for Will as good autistic representation, and for Free-For-All Friday, @tin-can-paladin prompted me to do as I’d said I might and write a Thing about that.  (Hopefully today is the day I actually get this post finished and up!)  So here we go.

First of all, this post will be starting from the premise that Will is an autistic character.  I don’t particularly care if Hugh’s said he’s not; whether or not he meant to, he and Bryan gave us an autistic-coded character and I reserve the right to be delighted about it!  (Actually, that’s not quite true - I do care, in the sense that I wish he hadn’t said that, because acknowledging portrayals of characters on the spectrum that aren’t a walking fucking stereotype played for lulz *cough BBT COUGH* or as a tragedy inflicted upon their neurotypical family members as being on the spectrum is Important.  But whatever.)

This post will address aspects of Will as a character, but also to an extent how he’s handled in the wider context of the show, and why that matters.

Agency

This was my primary focus on that previous Will meta post, but in context of autistic representation, I think it’s an important thing to highlight in this post as well: Will Graham is a whole-ass adult in control of his actions even when other characters don’t think so (see: Alana, Jack, et al in late season 1) or are actively trying to subvert that (see: Hannibal, You Asshole).

Autistic characters in various media are all-too-frequently infantilized and handled as though their environment/circumstances completely dictate their behavior.  Will both implicitly and explicitly (“You can’t reduce me to a set of influences” - ironically for a later part of this post, the next thing he says mentions behaviorism), resoundingly rejects this, and I love that as part of his narrative in general but also as an autistic character in particular.  

Empathy

This one’s gonna be a doozy.  There’s a lot to talk about here that all generally falls under the heading of “autism and empathy,” so I’ll do my best to stay organized.

First, the simplest: He cares!  So!  Deeply!  And complexly!  And we know that throughout the show!

Frankly, this in particular massively exacerbates my irritated wish that the creators would explicitly acknowledge him as autistic because holy shit the stereotypes he combats with this.  Autistic people in the real world have widely varied, diverse relationships with empathy and compassion (which are different things, and I have some beefs with the way the show uses the word “empathy,” but that’s a digression and this is already going to be a long post), but media largely erases this, conflating difficulties with normative, neurotypical-passing social behavior with inability to empathize, and/or display compassion, and/or even feel emotions (FFS).  

There’s a related point about “normative-passing social behavior” that I want to expand on a bit, here: we see a lot of profound differences in demeanor for Will over the course of the show, and that’s something I’ve seen interpreted as manipulation sometimes when it really isn’t.  (Not to say Will is not manipulative/capable of being manipulative, because he is, very!  But not everything calculated is necessarily manipulative, and I see the two conflated a lot and that annoys me.)  Will has, to my eyes, four basic social “modes.”  

I’m Dealing With Most People With Whom I Have No Particular Antipathy Or Affection - Aloof, and either standoffish or polite depending on how his boundaries are being treated.  He’s not particularly interested in making people comfortable when they’re making him uncomfortable (and being a white dude generally enables him to take this attitude without big repercussions), and people frequently make him uncomfortable.

I’m Dealing With Someone I Perceive As Vulnerable - Exaggeratedly calm, kind, careful.  He’s trying to connect and provide comfort and support.  He’s minding his every move and word because he doesn’t want to cause harm incidentally.  (Abigail, Peter, Walter, etc. and to some extent, Margot, though with her it’s mixed with other attitudes.)

I’m Dealing With An Enemy - This is where the manipulativeness (and even, particularly in the cases of Bedelia and Hannibal, cruelty) comes in.  He’s minding his every move and word because he wants to elicit a specific response from the person he’s interacting with.  (This comes into play with Jack and Alana at various points even though they are rarely full enemies.)

I’m Dealing With A Trusted Friend - Has neither the deliberation of 2-3 nor quite the standoffishness of 1.  He’s neither projecting an image appropriate to a specific kind of fraught social situation, nor actively trying to deflect attention and interaction.  In my opinion we really only see this with Hannibal (in season 1 and then with flashes of it in 2 and 3) and Molly, though he gets close in a handful of moments with Alana, Beverly, and Jack.  

All these modes deal with a) to what extent he is acting, and b) why he’s acting.  And I love that we get to see this breadth of social interaction modes from him, because that is an accurate and sensitive portrayal of an autistic adult, reflecting the often-dramatic differences in “difficulty setting” of an interaction - how and to what extent are we expected to (or otherwise have a need to) mimic neurotypical mannerisms?  What are the stakes of the situation?  These are explicit considerations for a lot of autistic people, and Will demonstrates that vividly throughout the series.

Another way in which empathy and social interaction come into play in terms of autistic representation is that Will can and does form strong social bonds - not very often, because the way most other adults treat him isn’t conducive to it, but with people who display acceptance/a lack of judgment for his non-neurotypical reactions and behaviors, and importantly, who don’t treat him as Other for the way he can reconstruct crime scenes, we see that can form very strong bonds.  Hannibal is obviously the prime example of this, but also Molly, and to a much lesser extent, Alana and Margot.  (Though Jack refers to him as a friend and they have some friendly interactions, their bond is not a strong one and not at all marked by the kind of humanizing acceptance it takes to get truly close to Will.)  People who accept who he is, and who are neither threatened by his skills nor dependent on them.

Finally, in this section, let’s look at the crime scene reconstructions and “getting inside killers’ heads” bit.  

I have complex feelings about this aspect of the show, or more precisely, how other characters talk about his reconstructions and serial killer profiling - they (even Hannibal, to an extent) talk about it in mystifying terms, and I thoroughly dislike the term “empathy disorder” that gets thrown around so much in seasons 1-2 to explain what he does.  Will is apt to testily correct people that he just interprets the evidence, and that is exactly what he is doing.  His vivid imagination coupled with years of active study of criminal psychology allow him to take that interpretation a lot farther than anyone else would, and sometimes make intuitive leaps that the other characters can’t follow.  But it’s clear that this intuition is founded in concrete evidence, as we frequently see him stymied when he doesn’t quite have enough of it, much to the frustration of Jack, who is particularly shitty about treating him like an oracle.  

I like that Will gets to stick up for himself and correct people on several occasions, but I wish the ableism and the Othering was less pervasive amongst the other characters because it makes me want to slap them.  I find that I really appreciate how most of the fic I’ve read since entering the fandom thoroughly and often explicitly rejects the pseudo-magical divination and/or Crazy Person With Magic Brain angle.

Perspective

There was something I was reaching at that was eluding me in my first attempt at this draft, and then I ran into an excellent article about writing autistic characters that suddenly and thoroughly solidified it for me.  It’s really brilliant; it discusses and illustrates the strong difference between a behavioristic (see previous reference) approach to characterization and a humanizing one.  Behavioristic analyses divorce themselves from the actual mindset and experience of the subject, whereas humanizing portrayals display the subjective experience of the person who is perhaps behaving in a way other people may find confusing.  

Since Will is the main point of view character in the show, we get front-row seats to his subjective experience and can therefore more properly empathize with him.  An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.  The behavior that Jack and various other characters are exasperated, impatient, and/or unnerved over all looks pretty reasonable when we know how Will is experiencing the crime scene, or are seeing his nightmares and hallucinations along with him!  And while the nightmares and hallucinations in season 1 are a matter of encephalitis and trauma rather than neurotype, it still matters that we’re led to understand something of what he goes through, from his own perspective rather than an outside one.  

It’s incredibly necessary emotional context moving forward in the show, giving us an autistic character who is flawed but deeply human and whose darkness we can understand.

[usedtobewerealpacas-blog]

for the send a character thing - what about erik and jasper from dq11 if youre open to doing two? (if youd rather not then you can pick one)

I WILL DO BOTH. erik first.

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

woah starting off strong here! when i was playing the game for the first time, i was also kind of liveblogging it for a friend of mine -- sending detailed “omg this just happened” updates, phone screencaps, the works. and i got all the way up to part two and erik’s backstory… and realized i had never mentioned him? to her? like in all my rambling about how much i loved everything. maybe i mentioned him in passing, but i remember having to go back and be like “okay so remember that guy from the start  of the game? well i am at his backstory.”

so that… probably says a lot?? to be clear, i do not dislike erik. i just find him really… uninteresting? his role in the first part of the game is to a) act as the hero’s voice and b) kiiiind of be the straight man for the others, and i guess i just never paid attention to him. i did very much enjoy the mia dungeon section of the game, and it’s… yeah. i don’t dislike erik! i just have always found him the least interesting of the cast in terms of character and backstory, and so i just kind of…… shrug… 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

in universe he’s apparently really attractive?? but his hair is very distracting lmaooo. like does it naturally grow like that?? does he use a ton of gel?? what happens when it gets wet???

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

okay going with a possibly controversial choice here: i think our boy is a hufflepuff. 

he’s brave and loyal, but they really aren’t his main traits — erik tends to be just a little bit self serving, he keeps things very close to the chest, and he’s also — while not like, unhelpful, not that into doing side quests and doing heroic stuff, especially early in the game. but what he is is loyal, literally spends the entire game defined only by his friendship with the hero, and beyond that has spent years working hard, not liking it but not complaining, to provide for his sister and later try to atone for her. admittedly he’s not much of a team player, as a true hufflepuff ought, but i really think his brand of -- allowing friendship to drive him, rather than a desire to be heroic or brave, slots him in as one and nothing else.

best quality:

his loyalty? i mean it’s tough to say anything else, it’s basically the only thing he’s ever defined as by the game -- but there’s also something for sure to be said for someone who decides (admittedly for selfish reasons) to stick with the luminary, no questions asked,  through hell or high water or the actual end of the world. he might complain about the other members of the party (COUGH veronica and sylv) here and there, but it’s never serious, and i get the sense from his backstory that even he like, sincerely hated serena’s guts (example chosen for the absurdity), he’d look past it because the Mission and his connection to it was more important. so that’s good!

worst quality: 

that he’s only ever defined by his relationship to a silent “blank” protagonist, therefore not actually giving us a sense of their dynamic or what makes them friends, limiting his character by not giving him anything outside of that role?

gonna go ahead and say his secretive nature? it never ends up being a huge problem, but in a game where The Power of Friendship and the party’s deep bonds ends up being such a point, it is kind of weird that he never once opens up about his past or shows any desire to until part three. sure, it’s rough and he feels guilty about it — but idk. i don’t have a great answer here.

ship them with: 

SYLV no one… he could be cute with serena? i have no strong feelings here. 

brotp them with: 

i do actually really enjoy his dynamic with veronica — they’re constantly bickering, but then you get to erik’s backstory and it’s like “oooh, of course.” she absolutely reminds him of mia, they have almost the same dynamic. and erik was also one of the saddest when veronica died — i feel like they’re always going at it, and then serena is like “tee hee, they’re such good friends, aren’t they?” (if veronica wasn’t six i  might ship it. maybe?)

needs to stay away from:

??? NO STRONG OPINIONS HERE. i wanna say mordegon but that actually kind of worked out for erik, didn’t it? lmaoooooo

misc. thoughts:

as fun as the mia dungeon was, and how cinematic it all was, i forever prefer erik’s part three version of the arc. it really kind of bugs me that the game couldn’t think of anything other than “let’s give him amnesia and make him really out of character and distressed until!!”, and as anti climatic as the part three version was (i was kind of hoping we’d get the dungeon again), erik also made the choice, without weird amnesia, to invite his friends and ask them for help. which, considering he’s kind of standoffish and super secretive, is actually really, really good development for my guy!! you’ve grown up erik!!!

also i don’t care what anyone says, i know what the game devs were going for, his accent is a hot mess.

[viviantimmet]

Oh boy, I didn’t really want to make one, but here it is anyway:

Number 6 A.K.A. Maya Hargreeves

- I was considering fucking up the order quite a bit, but ultimately decided to make her six and shift Ben and Vanya back one so I wouldn’t have to rename this universe’s Five

- Reggie found her in like India I guess

- Her power is healing blood, but it also works on inanimate objects. 

- I got really technical about how exactly it all works before remembering that TUA is about the characters not their powers, but the last main thing is:

- She’s got mad regeneration because her blood is always healing her.

- She hates her family a lot, and also just people in general, always assumes the worst, assumes people want something from her or want to hurt her. 

- The only person in the entire world she sort of tolerated by the time she left the academy was Vanya, because Vanya never asked to use her blood for anything. This lasted until Vanya wrote her book.  

- Braids her hair. Likes earth tone clothing, long pants, knit sweaters/cardigans.

- oh. I seem to be picturing Mindy Kaling. I kind of meant for Maya to be tall, but whatever.

- Important: She’s standoffish, misanthropic, grumpy, but NOT mean spirited. She doesn’t insult people really, she just rejects them and their attempts at interaction.

- She now works at the bird sanctuary where Agnes and Hazel go in the show. I’m not sure if it’s like a nature reserve or an aviary, but if it’s the former, then she lives there too. (Wait. I’m making up this universe. It is the former.)

- As far as horrifically traumatic training sessions, there was a lot of bloodletting, some being used as a training dummy for the rest of the kids, and absolutely some pain tolerance training (“You must learn to ignore pain, Number Six, It is useless to you.”)

- She watches the weather religiously, and marks the days when they correctly predict rain on her calender with smileys.

- Hates the sight of her own blood, needles, knives, people or animals that are larger than her. dislikes blue, white, and purple, the ocean, blue sky weather. She knows it’s a bit unreasonable, but she can’t help the things they bring to mind.

- her blood is blue btw, that is important to the last point. It dries purple, and glows white when healing. Yeah. my OC pretty much has rainbow blood. It’s too late to turn back now.

- She left the family when Ben died. She tried to heal him. His body and brain were perfectly fine, but he wouldn’t wake up. (souls apparently exist in this show. If Klaus summoned Ben’s soul back into his body it would work, but nobody knew he could do that so...) 

- Everyone sort of blamed her for his death, for not having got to him in time (”Where even were you!”), for not taking the hit for him ( “You could have taken it and survived” “I was nowhere near him!”), for maybe not healing him all the way on purpose (“He should be awake, there’s nothing wrong with him. You must have done something”)...

- So she left.

- She really really really doesn’t want to go to Reggie’s funeral, but... Actually I got nothing. She doesn’t go to the funeral. However, she definitely survived the apocalypse, so Five seeks her out...? hmm... I already have a Five’s not alone au but that one is about their time in the apocalypse. 

- Maya from the apocalypse doesn’t know it was Vanya’s fault, because she didn’t go to the funeral, but she did see the moon get blown up by a giant laser.

- There’s literally no reason for Apocalypse-Maya to not go with Five when he heads back in time... unless he’s just unable to take her. Which means I have a choice as to whether there’s an extra Maya running around! 

Oh shit, this is heckin’ long now. I’ll cut it here and make another post about the Maya AU tomorrow.